View topic - Why is adultery bad?
I know that a lot of people consider adultery bad, but I can't pinpoint the exact reason why it is considered bad.
So what I want to know is:
1. Do you consider adultery/cheating to be right/wrong?
2. And if so, why?
3. Also, if adultery is so bad, why do people who cheat not get punished for it?
So what I want to know is:
1. Do you consider adultery/cheating to be right/wrong?
2. And if so, why?
3. Also, if adultery is so bad, why do people who cheat not get punished for it?
QuoteQuesting:
Hearts and Pink Spell
I do, actually consider it bad. Would I consider it a crime? No.
We all have emotional, and/or sexual needs. It's a part of human nature... I don't think anyone should be punished for being human.
But I do think that it's hurts your SO if you cheat on them. It breaks trust between the two, and trust is what really holds together a relationship, IMHO.
So, to answer your question. Yes, I think it's terrible.
But no, it's not a crime, it shouldn't be, and I think that if someone continues to cheat on the people they claim they love, then the amount of heartbreaks will be punishment enough...
We all have emotional, and/or sexual needs. It's a part of human nature... I don't think anyone should be punished for being human.
But I do think that it's hurts your SO if you cheat on them. It breaks trust between the two, and trust is what really holds together a relationship, IMHO.
So, to answer your question. Yes, I think it's terrible.
But no, it's not a crime, it shouldn't be, and I think that if someone continues to cheat on the people they claim they love, then the amount of heartbreaks will be punishment enough...
Why? Because in a relationship where you've committed to be with one person and only that person, there is no excuse for that sort of deceit. It means that you've lied to your partner and implies that your partner is not enough for you or doesn't have all the qualities you want--and not only that, but that you'd rather sneak around than confront your partner about such issues. I don't see why there should be any question as to why this would be hurtful to one's partner.
That said, it's a personal issue which different couples handle in different ways; and since it does not tend to be extremely damaging either psychologically or physically to the point of being able to be labeled as abuse, there is no reason for it to be legally punishable. That doesn't mean that it always goes unpunished; that comes in the form of an upset partner (and anyone else who may find out and take issue with the cheater's actions).
That said, it's a personal issue which different couples handle in different ways; and since it does not tend to be extremely damaging either psychologically or physically to the point of being able to be labeled as abuse, there is no reason for it to be legally punishable. That doesn't mean that it always goes unpunished; that comes in the form of an upset partner (and anyone else who may find out and take issue with the cheater's actions).
To be honest, I slept with a married man BUT his wife is in love with someone else...And considering they had a swinging relationship to start, yeah... It was morally wrong HOWEVER, I did it because I wanted too and because I knew the entire story (and both sides mind you). Plus, he is leaving his wife (not for me) if she doesn't make up her mind. She knows he pretty much cheats, she does the same... He left her multiple times in the past. We talked about it a lot... We are still considered a secret.
The interesting part about him is that all these girls fall in love with him hardcore. I have a crush on him, but I am not in love with him. This one girl I know from my highschool (the reason why me and him even met) is madly in love with him. If she found out I ever been with him, boy oh boy would she have a freak out... And she is not even his wife!
Honestly, I will never cheat on anyone, that is just my nature... Yes, I know what I did above was wrong but considering the marriage was already broken before I even said yes and the fact she is in love with someone else... Yeah, I don't consider it as bad as if they were in some loving relationship. Then I would of probably totally said no... But I let my lust over take me, not to mention me and him have a ton in common. I am the only girl that can give him pet names, everyone else gets the evil stare.
We just ended up becoming good friends but secret friends.
My opinion on cheating is this, if you cheat it is obvious you are not happy within the relationship and need to either fix it or bail. Man is not known to be truly monogamous to begin with. We kind of forced it on ourselves for some sort of moral sake, but really we fight the temptation of sleeping with other people. That is because if sex gets boring, marriages fail... Unless you dislike sex all together. You kind of need to keep sex fresh and fun within a relationship. It keeps stress down and the likely hood of cheating becomes less.
The interesting part about him is that all these girls fall in love with him hardcore. I have a crush on him, but I am not in love with him. This one girl I know from my highschool (the reason why me and him even met) is madly in love with him. If she found out I ever been with him, boy oh boy would she have a freak out... And she is not even his wife!
Honestly, I will never cheat on anyone, that is just my nature... Yes, I know what I did above was wrong but considering the marriage was already broken before I even said yes and the fact she is in love with someone else... Yeah, I don't consider it as bad as if they were in some loving relationship. Then I would of probably totally said no... But I let my lust over take me, not to mention me and him have a ton in common. I am the only girl that can give him pet names, everyone else gets the evil stare.
We just ended up becoming good friends but secret friends.
My opinion on cheating is this, if you cheat it is obvious you are not happy within the relationship and need to either fix it or bail. Man is not known to be truly monogamous to begin with. We kind of forced it on ourselves for some sort of moral sake, but really we fight the temptation of sleeping with other people. That is because if sex gets boring, marriages fail... Unless you dislike sex all together. You kind of need to keep sex fresh and fun within a relationship. It keeps stress down and the likely hood of cheating becomes less.
Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.
C. S. Lewis
It is if there is deceit in it. The most important aspect of any relationship whether it be marriage, friendship, business partnership and so on, is trust.
You cheat, you lie to the other person and so you damage that.
However I guess adultery isn't bad if it's consensual though I don't particularly believe in it myself.
You cheat, you lie to the other person and so you damage that.
However I guess adultery isn't bad if it's consensual though I don't particularly believe in it myself.
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Adultery or cheating is wrong because at its basic level, its considered lying. If an individual and another individual were to be in a committed relationship said that they wanted to be 'open' with more sexual partners then it is fine, because both parties agreed and then no one would be hurt. If someone has to sneak around to get emotional support or sexual gratification then the relationship was doomed from the beginning.
People don't get punished for cheating in the law sense, because honestly how would a system of law control cheating? It's near impossible, because unless you have something that proves you two were in a committed relationship, were strictly monogamous, and definite proof that you were cheated on then you wouldn't have a case to stand upon. On the more personal side, I do think that some cheaters do get justice handed out by their exes, but for the most part they do get away with it because a person who has been cheated on can only do so much before they break a law or do something that they migt regret.
People don't get punished for cheating in the law sense, because honestly how would a system of law control cheating? It's near impossible, because unless you have something that proves you two were in a committed relationship, were strictly monogamous, and definite proof that you were cheated on then you wouldn't have a case to stand upon. On the more personal side, I do think that some cheaters do get justice handed out by their exes, but for the most part they do get away with it because a person who has been cheated on can only do so much before they break a law or do something that they migt regret.
A winner is you.
I consider it bad because you have already pledged your life to a person, then have gone and given your body (or your mind) to another person. I think that often times there is punishment for those folks who do it as well, as it may destroy their relationship, cost them money (divorce), or even make them generally unhappy from then on out.
If you have an implicit agreement with your partner that sleeping with another person is a deal breaker then yes, adultery is bad because you've breached the trust and that agreement between your partner and yourself.
There's ALL sorts of relationships out there. I've been in a lot where I'll be dating a man but sleeping with other women is perfectly fine. In my marriage the agreement is just the two of us period, regardless of gender of potential partners outside the marriage. To each their own...each couple and each relationship is going to be different.
There's ALL sorts of relationships out there. I've been in a lot where I'll be dating a man but sleeping with other women is perfectly fine. In my marriage the agreement is just the two of us period, regardless of gender of potential partners outside the marriage. To each their own...each couple and each relationship is going to be different.
It's actually a cultural thing that's developed in the last few thousand years - we're biologically programmed to cheat, at least, women are. I am a woman so don't think I'm some man who had a bad experience. x3
We're genetic beings, we strive to pass on our genetics and in the best possible way. They've done several experiments and even if they're not even conscious of it, mothers tend to at least think about making babies with another man, just so their own genetics can be passed on in many different was, optimizing the chances of her genetic material making it another generation. If her first partner's DNA kind of sucks, it'll bring HER DNA down, etc etc.
It's all kind of weird and silly to think about sometimes, but after researching it a bit on your own with an open mind, it really makes a lot of sense.
I'm not saying it's RIGHT by any means -- I am a one man kind of lady, always and forever -- just saying. C:
We're genetic beings, we strive to pass on our genetics and in the best possible way. They've done several experiments and even if they're not even conscious of it, mothers tend to at least think about making babies with another man, just so their own genetics can be passed on in many different was, optimizing the chances of her genetic material making it another generation. If her first partner's DNA kind of sucks, it'll bring HER DNA down, etc etc.
It's all kind of weird and silly to think about sometimes, but after researching it a bit on your own with an open mind, it really makes a lot of sense.
I'm not saying it's RIGHT by any means -- I am a one man kind of lady, always and forever -- just saying. C:
3. Also, if adultery is so bad, why do people who cheat not get punished for it?
That's not really relevant.
It's bad for the relationship. Very bad.* Not bad for society. Therefore, it's not something authorities should be involved in.
I rest my case.
*I mean adultery, not open relationships and polyamory, these are totally different things.
That's not really relevant.
It's bad for the relationship. Very bad.* Not bad for society. Therefore, it's not something authorities should be involved in.
I rest my case.
*I mean adultery, not open relationships and polyamory, these are totally different things.
I do thing cheating is wrong because you're hurting your SO in the process. It's selfish to think you can get away with it and not have any serious consequences. Is it a crime? No but in a way, the adulterer is being punished because once the SO finds out, that's it. You're pretty much pegged as a cheater and with today's technology, you can build websites where you can list a cheater. Like Cheaterville.
Addy wrote:It's actually a cultural thing that's developed in the last few thousand years - we're biologically programmed to cheat, at least, women are. I am a woman so don't think I'm some man who had a bad experience. x3
We're genetic beings, we strive to pass on our genetics and in the best possible way. They've done several experiments and even if they're not even conscious of it, mothers tend to at least think about making babies with another man, just so their own genetics can be passed on in many different was, optimizing the chances of her genetic material making it another generation. If her first partner's DNA kind of sucks, it'll bring HER DNA down, etc etc.
It's all kind of weird and silly to think about sometimes, but after researching it a bit on your own with an open mind, it really makes a lot of sense.
I'm not saying it's RIGHT by any means -- I am a one man kind of lady, always and forever -- just saying. C:
Actually men and women cheat equally. http://www.aphroditewomenshealth.com/news/20080809030827_health_news.shtml
@ terrapin
Adultery is punishable by authorities in some nations still. Adultery is a big issue in many nations. Acid throwing is something that women seem to love doing nowadays, even to women they 'think' their husbands are cheating with. And there's also a heap of love related murders. I'd hear of one story everyday when I lived in a developing country and it's nothing rare in other nations.
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Oh, I wasn't saying that one gender cheated more than others. The only research I was was explaining how and why women do it; men do it for similar reasons, too. :B That was more fresh in my mind though, haha.
Cheating is cheating - so yes.
I consider it wrong.
Adultery is just a fancy word for "cheating".
I consider it wrong.
Adultery is just a fancy word for "cheating".
Well it depends on what you consider cheating. I don't think it's wrong per say but I do think it should be avoid. Cheating does break the trust but it's not as big a thing as people make it out to be. You will be attracted to other people it's human nature and if you have a strong attraction to someone and slip ok...it can be forgiven...What gets me about cheating is lying about? There should be no point in lying about, prolonging the truth doesn't mean it will never be told but will only cause more pain than necessary. When you are honest that strengthens the bond that you already have, if it's really love all will be forgiven^^
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