View topic - Single and Child-Free life?
Im an 18 year old from UK. I ages ago decided to live a Child-free and single life. I find I have more freedom in being alone and more happiness in not being with a man or woman because Theres no chance of break ups,arguements,whineing, hurt, being cheated on and so on (why should we have to suffer that?!). Call me crazy But Being alone is alot better than being with someone.
I wish to dedicate my life to work.
on the other hand I would rather look after a animal than a human child. I would love to dedicate my life to animals as well.
People say in time I will change my mind, but I will definetly NOT! change my mind I may be young but I see my life with a family just bleak and pointless (My opinion).
Just to ask, am I the only one that wants this life?
Do you know anyone dedicates there lifes to animals?
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I'm kind of one of those people. I love animals but I want to be with someone. I don't want to be completely alone. Not children though that's for sure. there nothing but whiny little brats. I want to have a dog more then a child. easier to take care of and not much on the whining. 
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I can see where you're coming from since I've been in more than my fair share of shitty relationships that never accomplished anything but pain and bullshit. I wouldn't give my current relationship up for anything, though. I feel like the one I'm in now is the one I've been waiting for and it's really relieving and wonderful to be able to feel this way about someone that feels the same back.
However, kids? Yeah, no. Boyfriend wants children but I told him when we had that talk a few months ago that if he's with me, he's not getting kids. At all. And he said he'd rather have me and he's sticking to that. I could never, ever have children. I hate kids so much. I love animals, like you, but kids? Yeah, even having to deal with them in passing at my job is ridiculous. I'm in my mid-twenties and I doubt that feeling will ever change for me.
However, kids? Yeah, no. Boyfriend wants children but I told him when we had that talk a few months ago that if he's with me, he's not getting kids. At all. And he said he'd rather have me and he's sticking to that. I could never, ever have children. I hate kids so much. I love animals, like you, but kids? Yeah, even having to deal with them in passing at my job is ridiculous. I'm in my mid-twenties and I doubt that feeling will ever change for me.
o.o Well I wouldn't focus my whole life mostly on animals, cuz they can't talk sadly. D: lol But I do understand where your coming from cuz animals don't really have a brain that much so you can't get mad at them and they can't stay mad at you forever like humans might do. o-o So in some way I would focus my life on animals more then humans to not handle any trouble. XDD
But you never know the figure. =P You might find someone very very special to change your thoughts, ofc there will be some fights here and there but I think you won't care that much to handle those fights cuz you will love that person alot. :)
But you never know the figure. =P You might find someone very very special to change your thoughts, ofc there will be some fights here and there but I think you won't care that much to handle those fights cuz you will love that person alot. :)
WARNING VERY LONG OMG WTF DID I TYPE.
I am not single, nor do I plan on living a life single (at least by choice) but I am child-free, and so is my boyfriend, Brandon. Hell, I don't even know if we're getting married. We both want to stay together for life, but neither of us is ready for marriage, and we may never be.
I have no desire to breed. I used to want them when I was younger, but after all my friends started having kids, watching them go through the motions, and seeing what raising children was actually like instead of the silly, romanticized notion I grew up with, I was put off by it.
I now have no desire to mother my mini-me. I remember what my mother went through with me. I was hell to raise. I do not have the patience she has.
I do not feel bad about this. I'm happily content to have my days off and weekends be filled with laziness, wine and sleeping in.
One thing I did notice is that whenever I imagined myself as a mother, it was never to a baby or child. It was always a teen or a college aged adult.
It took me a long time to come to my decision.
Brandon hates children. Literally.
I on the other hand do not hate children, but with my quick temper, lack of patience, tendency to punch holes in doors when I am enraged, my lack of self esteem, my tendency to drink more than I should, and my long history with depression coupled with my lack of interaction with babies and children in general while i grew up, I do not think I would make a suitable parent.
I used to 'desperately' want children, or at least I said I did, and while the idea appealed to me on some level, I GREATLY exaggerated my excitement over it, for fear of seeming abnormal. Cooing over the babies of strangers always felt awkward, and I was never drawn to the kids my friends were cooing over, but I felt I had to do so.
I also realize now how much that desire was born out of my loneliness and desire to feel loved. And it also came from the general expectations of others (family, friends, etc.) that as a female, I'd eventually have kids.
I have always dreaded (well since my late teens anyway) going through what my mother went through with me. The behavioral charts at school, the endless parent/teacher meetings, the vicious fighting, the medication and learning about dealing with a learning disabled child.
Also, giving up a job, financial freedom and having to rely on a spouse and parents to provide for me, so I could stay home and properly raise an ADHD child. I KNOW where I would be without my mother.
The idea was first introduced to me by my friend Nora. Actually the first time she mentioned it, I thought it was weird because I had never considered that I had a choice in the matter, however silly that seems.
Then when I saw my two closest friends from childhood get married, I was honestly baffled at how they were making such a (semi)permanent choice so early in life. It wasn't until I stopped and thought about it that I realized that we were in our mid-late twenties. It wasn't a weird thing at all.
Then, when they started having kids, I was completely weirded out, and again found myself instantly judging them. And again, I found that instead of feeling envy, I felt sorry for them. It was literally the weirdest reaction, just completely out of the blue. Here they are, on the HAPPIEST day of their life and all I could think was, "Glad it's not me."
Still, I assumed I'd have my own 'eventually.'
Eventually was a comfortable word. It put no pressure on me, it satisfied my friends and my family and considering how I live my life 'day to day' as I have said numerous times in the past, it made sense me. It was something I'd worry about when the time came, which is my general attitude towards most things in my life.
Meeting, dating and living with Brandon has been a really fulfilling experience for me. It has not been as challenging as I thought it would be, in fact, it is not challenging at all.
When I first asked him about children, he hesitantly said, 'maybe later' but made it more than clear that he had no interest 'anytime soon.'
I'd been lurking child-free boards and web pages for a while at this point, first because I was curious, and then because I realized how much I related to the people posting on those pages and forums.
Finally one night, maybe about a month later, I asked how he would feel if we decided to never have children. The look of blatant relief on his face and the way he said that would suit the hell out of him really helped me make up my own mind.
I was very surprised at the sense of relief I felt almost immediately. Suddenly all the things i had secretly dreaded about being a parent, namely keeping my kid off drugs, potty training, diapers and sleepless nights were now all a non issue. They had been completely obliterated with one question.
I cannot say for certain what my future holds. Brandon said he would tolerate fostering a teen much later in life. I think that if I decide to make a 'change' in the world, I'd rather it be that way. I have honestly never visualized myself being pregnant, giving birth, holding and caring for a baby. Whenever I imagined myself as a mother, it was always a teen or a young adult.
None of us can be absolutely certain of the person we will be years down the road, but I can say that I am proud of the decision I have made.
I am not single, nor do I plan on living a life single (at least by choice) but I am child-free, and so is my boyfriend, Brandon. Hell, I don't even know if we're getting married. We both want to stay together for life, but neither of us is ready for marriage, and we may never be.
I have no desire to breed. I used to want them when I was younger, but after all my friends started having kids, watching them go through the motions, and seeing what raising children was actually like instead of the silly, romanticized notion I grew up with, I was put off by it.
I now have no desire to mother my mini-me. I remember what my mother went through with me. I was hell to raise. I do not have the patience she has.
I do not feel bad about this. I'm happily content to have my days off and weekends be filled with laziness, wine and sleeping in.
One thing I did notice is that whenever I imagined myself as a mother, it was never to a baby or child. It was always a teen or a college aged adult.
It took me a long time to come to my decision.
Brandon hates children. Literally.
I on the other hand do not hate children, but with my quick temper, lack of patience, tendency to punch holes in doors when I am enraged, my lack of self esteem, my tendency to drink more than I should, and my long history with depression coupled with my lack of interaction with babies and children in general while i grew up, I do not think I would make a suitable parent.
I used to 'desperately' want children, or at least I said I did, and while the idea appealed to me on some level, I GREATLY exaggerated my excitement over it, for fear of seeming abnormal. Cooing over the babies of strangers always felt awkward, and I was never drawn to the kids my friends were cooing over, but I felt I had to do so.
I also realize now how much that desire was born out of my loneliness and desire to feel loved. And it also came from the general expectations of others (family, friends, etc.) that as a female, I'd eventually have kids.
I have always dreaded (well since my late teens anyway) going through what my mother went through with me. The behavioral charts at school, the endless parent/teacher meetings, the vicious fighting, the medication and learning about dealing with a learning disabled child.
Also, giving up a job, financial freedom and having to rely on a spouse and parents to provide for me, so I could stay home and properly raise an ADHD child. I KNOW where I would be without my mother.
The idea was first introduced to me by my friend Nora. Actually the first time she mentioned it, I thought it was weird because I had never considered that I had a choice in the matter, however silly that seems.
Then when I saw my two closest friends from childhood get married, I was honestly baffled at how they were making such a (semi)permanent choice so early in life. It wasn't until I stopped and thought about it that I realized that we were in our mid-late twenties. It wasn't a weird thing at all.
Then, when they started having kids, I was completely weirded out, and again found myself instantly judging them. And again, I found that instead of feeling envy, I felt sorry for them. It was literally the weirdest reaction, just completely out of the blue. Here they are, on the HAPPIEST day of their life and all I could think was, "Glad it's not me."
Still, I assumed I'd have my own 'eventually.'
Eventually was a comfortable word. It put no pressure on me, it satisfied my friends and my family and considering how I live my life 'day to day' as I have said numerous times in the past, it made sense me. It was something I'd worry about when the time came, which is my general attitude towards most things in my life.
Meeting, dating and living with Brandon has been a really fulfilling experience for me. It has not been as challenging as I thought it would be, in fact, it is not challenging at all.
When I first asked him about children, he hesitantly said, 'maybe later' but made it more than clear that he had no interest 'anytime soon.'
I'd been lurking child-free boards and web pages for a while at this point, first because I was curious, and then because I realized how much I related to the people posting on those pages and forums.
Finally one night, maybe about a month later, I asked how he would feel if we decided to never have children. The look of blatant relief on his face and the way he said that would suit the hell out of him really helped me make up my own mind.
I was very surprised at the sense of relief I felt almost immediately. Suddenly all the things i had secretly dreaded about being a parent, namely keeping my kid off drugs, potty training, diapers and sleepless nights were now all a non issue. They had been completely obliterated with one question.
I cannot say for certain what my future holds. Brandon said he would tolerate fostering a teen much later in life. I think that if I decide to make a 'change' in the world, I'd rather it be that way. I have honestly never visualized myself being pregnant, giving birth, holding and caring for a baby. Whenever I imagined myself as a mother, it was always a teen or a young adult.
None of us can be absolutely certain of the person we will be years down the road, but I can say that I am proud of the decision I have made.
Just what the truth is, I can't say anymore.
Always buying leveling stones. 150 per. Send me a trade if you want to get rid of them.
Honestly, I've been thinking about this sometimes (like having kids in the future) because a lot of people that I graduated with are either engaged, married, and/or have kids.
But they're like 20-22 years old lol.
Anyways, a part of me wants to get married and have kids but then another doesn't for some reason.
I don't want to deal with all the crap that comes along with it, but don't get me wrong I'm fine with kids. I don't love them like some people do. Plus, it's a lot of responsibility and I don't think that I would be up for it.
I too want to focus on my career.
And if I did eventually want kids, I would rather adopt than anything or have a pet.
I would be very content if I had two cats, I kind of already know what kind of cats I want lol.
But they're like 20-22 years old lol.
Anyways, a part of me wants to get married and have kids but then another doesn't for some reason.
I don't want to deal with all the crap that comes along with it, but don't get me wrong I'm fine with kids. I don't love them like some people do. Plus, it's a lot of responsibility and I don't think that I would be up for it.
I too want to focus on my career.
And if I did eventually want kids, I would rather adopt than anything or have a pet.
I would be very content if I had two cats, I kind of already know what kind of cats I want lol.
I actually was adamant in doing the same and dedicating my life to disadvantaged children in poorer countries thanks to my personal experience with them.
Somehow I ended up with a partner even though I wasn't looking.
Though your life choice is perfectly fine and many close friends and acquaintances have similar goals as you.
Somehow I ended up with a partner even though I wasn't looking.
Though your life choice is perfectly fine and many close friends and acquaintances have similar goals as you.
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Hm, I cannot imagine having children...or getting married...I like children when they are behaved.
I just would not know how to handle little kids. I have a feeling they would take advantage of me because I would not want to do them harm. I have a bit of an attitude and yeah...I can get pretty angry very quickly. I do not physically do anything out of anger...I am a verbal anger type of person really.
I do not see the appeal of giving birth...it seems painful. Or maybe the the healing process is painful...I dunno. I cannot just handle going through all of those years taking care of someone who might end up hating me or whatever because of how they wish to live their lives. Not sure if I make any sense there.
I do not even know if I will get married. I was never really into dating and forming relationships with people. I only had two...well, I am on my second one and I love her very much but I cannot know how long it will last.
I would rather I take care of fur babies...cats mainly. Dogs seems like children to me...the ones I know anyways. They always want to play. They get into trouble. They need love and attention. Cats do not need much.
I am not selfish though...I just do not see the appeal of expanding the human population.
If I could, I would not mind being a hermit in some isolated area with a few cats. I am not a big people person. Yes, I can handle myself around people that are mature and have manners but yeah...I do not need others around me to make me happy.
I just would not know how to handle little kids. I have a feeling they would take advantage of me because I would not want to do them harm. I have a bit of an attitude and yeah...I can get pretty angry very quickly. I do not physically do anything out of anger...I am a verbal anger type of person really.
I do not see the appeal of giving birth...it seems painful. Or maybe the the healing process is painful...I dunno. I cannot just handle going through all of those years taking care of someone who might end up hating me or whatever because of how they wish to live their lives. Not sure if I make any sense there.
I do not even know if I will get married. I was never really into dating and forming relationships with people. I only had two...well, I am on my second one and I love her very much but I cannot know how long it will last.
I would rather I take care of fur babies...cats mainly. Dogs seems like children to me...the ones I know anyways. They always want to play. They get into trouble. They need love and attention. Cats do not need much.
I am not selfish though...I just do not see the appeal of expanding the human population.
If I could, I would not mind being a hermit in some isolated area with a few cats. I am not a big people person. Yes, I can handle myself around people that are mature and have manners but yeah...I do not need others around me to make me happy.
Oh, that's exactly what I'm going for, as well.
I cannot stand children, and I don't see the point of marriage.
Relationships are nice, but I won't die of loneliness if I never find anyone again.
And cats are cute.
I hate when people give me that, "Oh, you'll change your mind~ :3" thing.
I've been around enough bratty kids to not want one, plus even if my kid behaves, it doesn't make up for the pain of childbirth or the financial strain.
I'd be a very harsh parent.
Yeah, no.
I cannot stand children, and I don't see the point of marriage.
Relationships are nice, but I won't die of loneliness if I never find anyone again.
And cats are cute.
I hate when people give me that, "Oh, you'll change your mind~ :3" thing.
I've been around enough bratty kids to not want one, plus even if my kid behaves, it doesn't make up for the pain of childbirth or the financial strain.
I'd be a very harsh parent.
Yeah, no.
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I am totally like you. I don't want to deal with relationships or anything of the sort. I want a kitty or dog and all my friends. It's just better that way. I do enjoy the things couples do, you know. So...I'm not sure how long that'll last but I don't want any children. None at all. That's where my mind is made up on.
I do eventually want to get married at some point, but I refuse to have children and just be Child Free. I have no desire to be a parent, no one has yet been able to change my mind on this. In fact, I believe I have offended a few people on my Child Free stance.
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Leiliana Farren wrote:I do eventually want to get married at some point, but I refuse to have children and just be Child Free. I have no desire to be a parent, no one has yet been able to change my mind on this. In fact, I believe I have offended a few people on my Child Free stance.
People are often offended by childfree people because they think we are judging them for having children, when the ironic reality is they're judging us for NOT having them.
Many people accept the 'life script' without realizing that like every other choice we have in life, kids are a choice, they are not mandatory to adulthood.
I too have offended people.
Best way to counter an offended party is to ask them how how your decision impacts them, and to say, "You're obviously very angry with my decision, and this leads me to think that I am not fulfilling a need of yours. Why do you need me to have children?"
Many people accept the 'life script' without realizing that like every other choice we have in life, kids are a choice, they are not mandatory to adulthood.
I too have offended people.
Best way to counter an offended party is to ask them how how your decision impacts them, and to say, "You're obviously very angry with my decision, and this leads me to think that I am not fulfilling a need of yours. Why do you need me to have children?"
Just what the truth is, I can't say anymore.
Always buying leveling stones. 150 per. Send me a trade if you want to get rid of them.
I really enjoy being in a good relationship, and I also really enjoy being single. So I'm fine either way. Right now I am in a relationship. I've been with my current partner for just over five years. I am 28; he is 32. We think marriage is just a piece of paper, so we don't really care about it. We may get married at some point to share health insurance or get a tax break, but that's about it. He's equally fine with having or not having a baby, but I really want one. We have been trying to conceive for almost two years now, but we have not had any luck. We do have two dogs, eight cats, and two ferrets though.
Being married with a child does that invalidate my opinion? ; P
The way I see it, there's advantages and disadvantages to any life choice.
To be single and child-free, to be free of attachments and social responsibilities, it should be obvious the advantages to this. If I for some reason loose my husband after my child's grown and moved on with life I may enjoy that for the mountain-hermit/sage/philosopher type of life.
To be married and to have a child has it's advantages as well and none of them for the obvious reasons. Mostly, it's the sense of selflessness and responsibility which develops the self, not how the two conform to the self to make one's life more enriched. It can be a painful process at times (hell even most of the time on bad days and I have those in spades) and never easy, but there's rewards which are mostly life lessons.
No person is any more or less a person for living either way. People are all just people and that's all there is to it. I wouldn't, however, be in any rush to define the rest of my life considering I don't know what in the world may come and who I'm even going to be in the future, that goes either way.
The way I see it, there's advantages and disadvantages to any life choice.
To be single and child-free, to be free of attachments and social responsibilities, it should be obvious the advantages to this. If I for some reason loose my husband after my child's grown and moved on with life I may enjoy that for the mountain-hermit/sage/philosopher type of life.
To be married and to have a child has it's advantages as well and none of them for the obvious reasons. Mostly, it's the sense of selflessness and responsibility which develops the self, not how the two conform to the self to make one's life more enriched. It can be a painful process at times (hell even most of the time on bad days and I have those in spades) and never easy, but there's rewards which are mostly life lessons.
No person is any more or less a person for living either way. People are all just people and that's all there is to it. I wouldn't, however, be in any rush to define the rest of my life considering I don't know what in the world may come and who I'm even going to be in the future, that goes either way.