View topic - Older men dating highschoolers?
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Not really, but in today's society it's hard to say whom would be more responsible for the creation of such a relationship: the underage female or the overage male. Teenagers seem to be more and more sexually...forceful's not quite the word I'm looking for but I guess the idea is that it doesn't seem terribly uncommon for a teenage girl to be well aware of the manipulative powers of sex and just the power that sex holds period as well as mistaking it as a sign of independence. I'm not too quick to say the man is always at fault when I don't know the people or situation specifically.
Definitely not--this is why the "half your age plus seven" rule is a good guideline. There's too much of a maturity gap...not to mention that it's pretty damn illegal.
I think it's inappropriate.
Most men over 25 who tend to date highschoolers are either a type of pedophile, or they intend to use them.
I known that there may be some who are committed, though.
Most men over 25 who tend to date highschoolers are either a type of pedophile, or they intend to use them.
I known that there may be some who are committed, though.
cerabear wrote:I think it's inappropriate.
Most men over 25 who tend to date highschoolers are either a type of pedophile, or they intend to use them.
I known that there may be some who are committed, though.
More often than not, it indicates that something is lacking on the part of the older man, such as the inability to relate to people his own age, form lasting bonds with peers, etc. That's why it bothers me, to be honest, aside from the obvious maturity gap--the possibility that it's a symptom of a greater problem.
In most cases I'd sat that's not appropriate. All the legal issues aside, a teenager is still growing and changing and most teens aren't capable of handling an adult relationship. Why would a grown man want a teenage girl when he can have a woman? The simple answers: He can't get a woman, he's a creep, or he's on the maturity level of a teenager, if the last part is the case she will likely out grow him within a few years.
I don't have a problem with it. A little suspicious when it comes to motives and questioning how well the relationship would actually work, but that's sort of their own issue to deal with. Age really is just a number, and whether they're together because one of them is more or less mature than most that age or just because one is naive and the other happens to like the appeal of someone younger, it's not really my place to judge or make assumptions. However young someone may be in high school, it doesn't automatically mean they're stupid and incapable of assessing the situation. Not to mention the fact that while our society may view everyone under the age of thirty as a baby, others see people of our high school age as adults and treat them as such. It's not about the age, but the individual. Really, unless someone's actually getting hurt, I don't care. And if someone is getting hurt, then it has nothing to do with age and dating--it's a different issue entirely.
The only reason I'd be concerned is for the legality. Depending on your location, the older person could get into a lot of trouble--and then it's irresponsible on both their parts, but just as much still their own deal and their own fault if they do run into that sort of problem.
The only reason I'd be concerned is for the legality. Depending on your location, the older person could get into a lot of trouble--and then it's irresponsible on both their parts, but just as much still their own deal and their own fault if they do run into that sort of problem.
I think it depends on the type of relationship and the individuals, you know?
Though I come from a family where large age differences are common. Both my dad's siblings married someone 10+ years age difference. -and I see it works. They have a happy family, they love each other, and they are successful.
Back on topic;
If it's a sexual relationship, I'd say it's definitely inappropriate (at least for the time the high schooler is underage). Otherwise, I don't quite see the problem with it.
Not all high schoolers are overly immature, and not all 25 year olds are creepers.
Basically I agree with both Red Lion and Nightmare Boy, it just depends. XD
I don't like to lump every one into one stereotype, or judge based on one case or general cases. /complicated > <;
Though I come from a family where large age differences are common. Both my dad's siblings married someone 10+ years age difference. -and I see it works. They have a happy family, they love each other, and they are successful.
Back on topic;
If it's a sexual relationship, I'd say it's definitely inappropriate (at least for the time the high schooler is underage). Otherwise, I don't quite see the problem with it.
Not all high schoolers are overly immature, and not all 25 year olds are creepers.
Basically I agree with both Red Lion and Nightmare Boy, it just depends. XD
I don't like to lump every one into one stereotype, or judge based on one case or general cases. /complicated > <;
I guess it just depends. My boyfriend and I are eight years apart, buuut, I was also nineteen, living on my own, and holding a full time job when we got together.
Alot of my friends in high school were dating guys that were in their mid-20's or older, and they seemed to get along alright with them. My problem with is was that the men they were seeing already had a child or two with another woman at the time, and I don't agree with that. You're in high school; you've got yourself to worry about, you don't need to add a bunch of other responsibilities; like raising another girl's kid; to it.
I think that older men/women dating people in high school is ok, as long as the said highschooler is at least 17. Anything younger than that, then yeah, that's extremely questionable. If you like them at that age, then the man either has something wrong with him, or, if they generally do like them, they will still like them once they hit 18.
Alot of my friends in high school were dating guys that were in their mid-20's or older, and they seemed to get along alright with them. My problem with is was that the men they were seeing already had a child or two with another woman at the time, and I don't agree with that. You're in high school; you've got yourself to worry about, you don't need to add a bunch of other responsibilities; like raising another girl's kid; to it.
I think that older men/women dating people in high school is ok, as long as the said highschooler is at least 17. Anything younger than that, then yeah, that's extremely questionable. If you like them at that age, then the man either has something wrong with him, or, if they generally do like them, they will still like them once they hit 18.
i honestly don't see the problem, unless the high schooler in question is under 17. At 17, you are almost an adult (in some states it is the age of consent) my boyfriend and I are 7 years apart.
I think anyone over the age of 25 dating anyone in high school is pretty creepy. If it's a 20-year old dating a 16-year old, while I don't neccessarily approve of, I can tolerate. Over 25? HELL NO.
The half-your-age plus seven rule is great, unless you're, like, 70.
The half-your-age plus seven rule is great, unless you're, like, 70.
I dont agree that its right. Plus it would make the man a pedophile.
If a guy is even two years older, the girl shouldnt be dating him, or at least the rules of my family.
If a guy is even two years older, the girl shouldnt be dating him, or at least the rules of my family.
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It wouldn't make the older person a pedophile (also, why are we all assuming it's always an older man and not an older woman?) to date a teenager, that's ephebophilia or hebephilia.
The big thing is that, regardless of how grown-up a teenager thinks they are, they aren't ready to handle the emotional demands of a serious adult relationship. An adult who chooses to pursue a relationship with a teenager is clearly looking for something they can't find in people their own age. Once a person is an adult, the age gap doesn't matter, but as long as they're a teen, with teenage emotions and teenage ideas of what makes a relationship, no adult has any business trying to pursue a sexual relationship. An adult who values a teenager for the person they are and wants to seek them in a romantic way, without being exploitative, should have enough respect to wait.
The big thing is that, regardless of how grown-up a teenager thinks they are, they aren't ready to handle the emotional demands of a serious adult relationship. An adult who chooses to pursue a relationship with a teenager is clearly looking for something they can't find in people their own age. Once a person is an adult, the age gap doesn't matter, but as long as they're a teen, with teenage emotions and teenage ideas of what makes a relationship, no adult has any business trying to pursue a sexual relationship. An adult who values a teenager for the person they are and wants to seek them in a romantic way, without being exploitative, should have enough respect to wait.
I think it's completely inappropriate because the age gap is just too big. Both parties are looking for different things in a relationship and it'll just never work out. Somebody is just going to end up really hurt
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I don't believe so, I find that the whole "age is just a number" a bit silly when you're in high school. You think you're unbelievably mature and like no other but, that isn't true, at all. Kids in high school need time to grow up, a grown man shouldn't be chasing high school kids. Teenage kids don't know better, I used to think just like that when I was a teenager and so were all my friends. No matter what they do or say, they are not completely matured to handle that type of relationship. Imo, this has nothing to do with the age cap but the simple fact of a teenager with an adult.
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