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Have you brought up the idea of management questions? Would he even entertain the idea that he might need help?
It sounds like he's under an incredible amount of stress even if it is a handful of little things piled up under a few large things. Obviously you don't want to separate from him but even after being there for him, which is what I feel is best, things still aren't working the both of you should probably sit down for a chat and see where the both of you really want to take your relationship.
It sounds like he's under an incredible amount of stress even if it is a handful of little things piled up under a few large things. Obviously you don't want to separate from him but even after being there for him, which is what I feel is best, things still aren't working the both of you should probably sit down for a chat and see where the both of you really want to take your relationship.
Who is John Galt?
I've come to burgle your hamburgs.
I'm not sure he would entertain the idea. He's very stubborn and somewhat shallow. Though not as much as he used to be there are certain things he has a harder time with. I will talk to him about it though, at least i can try, i want to help him in any way I can. It's just hard for me to know what to do when i have very little grasp on how to control emotions well.
It sounds like it's little things that set him off and that is not good at all (and little things with solutions like upgrading your internet). It would pay off in that he'd learn to deal with his anger more healthily, at least.
Who is John Galt?
I've come to burgle your hamburgs.
Just last night my bf exploded into this huge rant. He was just so frustrated and angry and couldn't hold back anymore and just started yelling about everything. Most times he rants a little, and I interject to try and solve the problem, we snap at each other and we both get frustrated, but last night I just bit my tongue and let him go on because I knew he needed it (even though I felt like screaming and punching walls). And he told me when he was yelling, that when he gets all pissy and upset and doesn't know what he wants, that I shouldn't just back off and ignore him. He just wants me to rub his back or pet his hair, and just let him know everything will be ok. I didn't know this of course, because he gets so irritated and pissed off I figured he wanted to be left alone. And when I've tried to cuddle up near him he acts like I'm not even there, or like I'm annoying him. But I guess I was wrong. So maybe next time your boyfriend goes off on a rant about whatever, you should try and comfort him? Maybe that's all it takes. Along with a little time, of course.
You should also talk to him about his anger problems, and try and get him to go to an anger management class. I would hate for you to get hurt.
You should also talk to him about his anger problems, and try and get him to go to an anger management class. I would hate for you to get hurt.
Years ago I was seeing this guy. He'd get sad and angry a lot. He'd cry a lot and yell at me a lot, but he'd always feel really bad about it after. I thought if I just showed him I cared and helped him through it, everything would be ok. But it wasn't. He got worse. He started throwing things, usually my things. He broke my things. He shoved me. He spit in my hair. He stole from me. He called me all sorts of horrible names. And he seemed to stop feeling bad about it. I'm not saying that your guy and your relationship will end up exactly the same way. I have no way of knowing that. I am just saying that what you described reminds me of the fairly early stages of that relationship (it lasted four years). I never want to go through anything like that again, I doubt you want to go through it, and if cares about you he shouldn't want to put you through it. So I would recommend having him see a professional. That should help him through this tough time, maybe teach him some better coping strategies, and maybe decrease the chance that your relationship will end up like mine did. If he's in college, there should be someone there that he can talk to for free.
Here's my .02. No matter how much I loved someone, I would not stay with him/her if he/she was "stubborn" and "shallow" and had anger management problems that he/she was not open to resolving. Period.
While some compromise in a relationship is good and even healthy, my first word of caution would be to make sure that both of you are compromising equally.
That said, it sounds as though your boyfriend should find someone, be it a counselor or therapist to talk with. That person would be able to help him with both his anger and stress levels, perhaps even offer him some medication if it was warranted. I remember college as being very stressful and losing close family members can cause or deepen emotional trauma more than a person is even aware of.
That said, it sounds as though your boyfriend should find someone, be it a counselor or therapist to talk with. That person would be able to help him with both his anger and stress levels, perhaps even offer him some medication if it was warranted. I remember college as being very stressful and losing close family members can cause or deepen emotional trauma more than a person is even aware of.
