View topic - My BF broke up with me
It was a long-distance relationship since August of 2007. As far as I knew, we were still both in love and were in a good place in the relationship aside from the distance. Then I get up this morning to find a lengthy e-mail in my inbox which detailed all the things leading up to "I'm breaking up with you." Then more lengthy reasons which I opted out of reading, being too heartbroken to go on. Apparently he's been wanting to break up with me for like 2 years now. I'm devastated, hurt beyond belief, and now despising him for not even being able to tell me at least on the phone. I lost basically all my respect for him. And now, since the only other I loved, who was my cat, died a few months earlier, I feel I have no one left to love. Not that I have any love left in me at all.
Basically I just need some advice, some encouragement, anything to try and get out of this terrible emotionally painful state I am stuck in. And any bashing of said BF, is welcome because I am pissed at him for after 5 years all I get is an e-mail break up. Seriously, that's so pathetic. -_-
Basically I just need some advice, some encouragement, anything to try and get out of this terrible emotionally painful state I am stuck in. And any bashing of said BF, is welcome because I am pissed at him for after 5 years all I get is an e-mail break up. Seriously, that's so pathetic. -_-
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I'm sorry for what happened to you. =(
That's a really cowardly way to break up with someone. Did you try calling him?
And if he has been wanting to break up for two years... that's just really cruel to have kept you believing in your relationship if it was all a lie.
I don't really know what to say... but I do know that distance makes relationships hard. Heck, relationships are hard to begin with, distance makes them even harder. A lot of the time, people break up... or cheat. Not always, but a lot of times.
I'm sorry, I know this wasn't really encouraging, I just really don't know what to say besides I'm sorry for what happened to you. But there are plenty o great guys out there. =) I'm sure one will come along who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.
That's a really cowardly way to break up with someone. Did you try calling him?
And if he has been wanting to break up for two years... that's just really cruel to have kept you believing in your relationship if it was all a lie.
I don't really know what to say... but I do know that distance makes relationships hard. Heck, relationships are hard to begin with, distance makes them even harder. A lot of the time, people break up... or cheat. Not always, but a lot of times.
I'm sorry, I know this wasn't really encouraging, I just really don't know what to say besides I'm sorry for what happened to you. But there are plenty o great guys out there. =) I'm sure one will come along who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.
honestly, i can't believe he did that! what a dick! i mean, who strings someone along for two fucking years without any sort of hint that things aren't going well, and then sends an email?!?! gawd!! what a cowardly piece of shit! ain't got any balls! effin pussy 
know what? don't respond to him, don't acknowledge him, nothing. he doesn't deserve the time of day from you.
chin up, stay strong. one day, you'll look back on this and laugh. seriously. i had an ex post nudies of me everywhere, and send them to everyone i knew. i laugh at it now. mostly cuz he had a tiny penis. and i'm fucking smoking hot in those pics XD
it was basically just him saying to everyone, "look at who i lost cuz i'm stupid and tiny! i'm gonna go kill myself and try and bring her down with me! wahwah whine bitch sob." i was totally pissed and crying and so incredibly depressed at the time, but now i laugh at it ^_^
(he didn't kill himself btw. pussy.)
know what? don't respond to him, don't acknowledge him, nothing. he doesn't deserve the time of day from you.
chin up, stay strong. one day, you'll look back on this and laugh. seriously. i had an ex post nudies of me everywhere, and send them to everyone i knew. i laugh at it now. mostly cuz he had a tiny penis. and i'm fucking smoking hot in those pics XD
it was basically just him saying to everyone, "look at who i lost cuz i'm stupid and tiny! i'm gonna go kill myself and try and bring her down with me! wahwah whine bitch sob." i was totally pissed and crying and so incredibly depressed at the time, but now i laugh at it ^_^
(he didn't kill himself btw. pussy.)
@Jinnxi - believe it or not, that does make me feel better. I did talk to him on messenger but honestly it didn't get me anywhere. It did feel good to tell him how much of a jerk he was to his face (sort of). Of course I got plenty of excuses about why it was an e-mail. He didn't want me to hang up on him before he explained everything, he didn't want me to sign off before he finished saying things... but really? A teacher once said to me excuses are like people's asses. Everyone has them and they all stink. So that's how I feel about that. = 3= I hope someday I do find someone who is as I say "Mr Awesome". lol
@Leithkorias - Thank you. It feels so good to hear a complete stranger bash him so. XD Unfortunately I intend on staying friends with him, but it will take time and I will never really have any respect for him again, just someone to play online games with. > 3< At least I'm not the only one who has had a bad experience. Thankfully I don't think he would ever post pictures of me online since he still wants to be friends too and honestly has probably deleted them anyway. xP I'm the depressed type though and my response was instantly "I'm going to hurt myself and take him down too" but I have a bestie that would do anything for me so I must not do anything bad to myself for her sake. I think it will take time, and probably a lot more name-calling and arguing but I think I will be able to get over him one day and look back at it and laugh. ^^
@Leithkorias - Thank you. It feels so good to hear a complete stranger bash him so. XD Unfortunately I intend on staying friends with him, but it will take time and I will never really have any respect for him again, just someone to play online games with. > 3< At least I'm not the only one who has had a bad experience. Thankfully I don't think he would ever post pictures of me online since he still wants to be friends too and honestly has probably deleted them anyway. xP I'm the depressed type though and my response was instantly "I'm going to hurt myself and take him down too" but I have a bestie that would do anything for me so I must not do anything bad to myself for her sake. I think it will take time, and probably a lot more name-calling and arguing but I think I will be able to get over him one day and look back at it and laugh. ^^
I just broke up with my bf of almost two years, we got pets together and we basically committed.
He broke up with me over a text message. I didn't even deserve a in person break up, I was at his house three days before... its been a week now and I keep telling myself that I deserve better than a coward who would send me a txt message.
Guys can be jerks.
Sorry you got strung along by him.
He broke up with me over a text message. I didn't even deserve a in person break up, I was at his house three days before... its been a week now and I keep telling myself that I deserve better than a coward who would send me a txt message.
Guys can be jerks.
Sorry you got strung along by him.
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I'm more for realism, I don't believe in pity parties or stroking anyone's ego but rather saying what needs to be said.
Face it, you'd be just as angry no matter how he broke up with you, that's not the issue it's just another excuse you yourself are using to fuel your anger and give you that feeling of righteous indignity. The more you fuel your anger, the worse it'll get.
What you really need to do is let go and move on because I'll tell you what the next step after the whole "He's such a dick and I hate him" stage is, that anger is going to turn in on yourself and you're going to get depressed as hell, potentially suicidal.
So stop feeding your anger, what's done is done and there's a life out there to live now. As long as you sit there stroking your rage life's just going to pass you by, including the opportunity to meet someone better.
Face it, you'd be just as angry no matter how he broke up with you, that's not the issue it's just another excuse you yourself are using to fuel your anger and give you that feeling of righteous indignity. The more you fuel your anger, the worse it'll get.
What you really need to do is let go and move on because I'll tell you what the next step after the whole "He's such a dick and I hate him" stage is, that anger is going to turn in on yourself and you're going to get depressed as hell, potentially suicidal.
So stop feeding your anger, what's done is done and there's a life out there to live now. As long as you sit there stroking your rage life's just going to pass you by, including the opportunity to meet someone better.
Break ups are never fun. I've had my share of break ups and it was always with girl breaking up with me, so I know that end of the stick.
It hurts, but time heals a heart, as silly as that sounds. It may take a long time, but if you can look forward and keep your head up, one day you'll find someone who loves you for who you are.
I used to be in love with someone who couldn't give me the time of day. She abused me and I didn't even see it. I wanted to share the world with her, but she broke my to pieces. The worst part about it is I still loved her.
Just keep your head up and remember that you're a good person with a good heart and you deserve to be happy. :3
It hurts, but time heals a heart, as silly as that sounds. It may take a long time, but if you can look forward and keep your head up, one day you'll find someone who loves you for who you are.
I used to be in love with someone who couldn't give me the time of day. She abused me and I didn't even see it. I wanted to share the world with her, but she broke my to pieces. The worst part about it is I still loved her.
Just keep your head up and remember that you're a good person with a good heart and you deserve to be happy. :3
So I sent the e-mail to one of my close friends who happens to be a guy and he gave me his say on each and every thing my ex wrote to me, since this friend knew both of us. As it turns out, there was a really good chance he was seeing people behind my back as much as he kept telling me he never did that. And I have always have suicidal tendencies so it really didn't change that when he broke up with me, I still have occasional thoughts, my anger is the thing that keeps me from doing those things, honestly. I guess everyone is different though. It's just how I deal with things. If I get depressed and sad it's much worse than if I just get angry. But that's just what works for me. All my friends are telling me not to talk to him anymore, not to be friends with him and all that but I'm just not sure. I just don't want to be that person. But I told him I need to talk to him today and he said he'd call me later and it's well past later so now I'm having doubts about staying friends...
I've always been a half-empty glass kind of person so I tend to look at things negatively but when I spoke with my BFF today I realized that I've actually liked other people more than this guy but because I was very loyal to him and would never cheat or anything I never told these people how I feel and now since my ex said he's been wanting to leave me for so long I feel so angry that I could lose out on these people just because of him... UGH. I'm so sick of his BS right now, I'm sorry for ranting. D:
I've always been a half-empty glass kind of person so I tend to look at things negatively but when I spoke with my BFF today I realized that I've actually liked other people more than this guy but because I was very loyal to him and would never cheat or anything I never told these people how I feel and now since my ex said he's been wanting to leave me for so long I feel so angry that I could lose out on these people just because of him... UGH. I'm so sick of his BS right now, I'm sorry for ranting. D:
Meh, my long distance ex-boyfriend broke up with me over text. It didn't bother me so much as the fact that he was leaving me for another girl, completely out of the blue. We're still close friends, and all romantic feelings for him have turned platonic, but honestly I'll never forgive him for doing that to me. It messed me up for quite a while. Not to mention the fact that he pretty much hit on other girls in front of me while we were together, and do I think he was cheating on me? Yep.
Meh. I guess I was lucky that we're still friends and everything ended up okay.
Meh. I guess I was lucky that we're still friends and everything ended up okay.
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princejekyll wrote:I just broke up with my bf of almost two years, we got pets together and we basically committed.
He broke up with me over a text message. I didn't even deserve a in person break up, I was at his house three days before... its been a week now and I keep telling myself that I deserve better than a coward who would send me a txt message.
Guys can be jerks.
Sorry you got strung along by him.
A girl broke up with me over an Email when I was
around 18.
Not gender base.
Some people are cowards.
I did have a bf who was going to tell his friend or my friend that it was over.
My friend told him he better do it right or shit was going to happen.
Sad but ...shit happens.
Wonderful world of dating.
George Clooney :D~
It'll take a while but the only thing you can do is attempt to move on.
2 years ago a guy broke up with me kind of like your situation.He told me via IM (I lived with him but was away visiting family) that we were through and had wanted to end it for the last year. We were living together, engaged and had been together for almost 4 years. Oh and the real kicker? During that year, he had gotten me pregnant and now I have his daughter who he doesn't even acknowledge. He has never even seen her but imho, everything happens for a reason. I was pissed at everyone and everything for being a single mother. But when my daughter was 3 months, I met a wonderful guy who has been raising my child with me since she was 6 months and she's 2 now. He's not the kind of guy who took pity on me. He truly sees her as is and he gets upset when people say that she's not his. His family loves her too. She has an uncle and aunt and a bunch of cousins now because of my boyfriend. So like I said, things always happen for a reason. It'll just take some time to get over it. I avoided music, only listening to upbeat 90's stuff (Hanson, anyone?) and took to writing fanfiction as my therapy. It helped quite a bit.
2 years ago a guy broke up with me kind of like your situation.He told me via IM (I lived with him but was away visiting family) that we were through and had wanted to end it for the last year. We were living together, engaged and had been together for almost 4 years. Oh and the real kicker? During that year, he had gotten me pregnant and now I have his daughter who he doesn't even acknowledge. He has never even seen her but imho, everything happens for a reason. I was pissed at everyone and everything for being a single mother. But when my daughter was 3 months, I met a wonderful guy who has been raising my child with me since she was 6 months and she's 2 now. He's not the kind of guy who took pity on me. He truly sees her as is and he gets upset when people say that she's not his. His family loves her too. She has an uncle and aunt and a bunch of cousins now because of my boyfriend. So like I said, things always happen for a reason. It'll just take some time to get over it. I avoided music, only listening to upbeat 90's stuff (Hanson, anyone?) and took to writing fanfiction as my therapy. It helped quite a bit.
lateralus es helica wrote:I'm more for realism, I don't believe in pity parties or stroking anyone's ego but rather saying what needs to be said.
Face it, you'd be just as angry no matter how he broke up with you, that's not the issue it's just another excuse you yourself are using to fuel your anger and give you that feeling of righteous indignity. The more you fuel your anger, the worse it'll get.
What you really need to do is let go and move on because I'll tell you what the next step after the whole "He's such a dick and I hate him" stage is, that anger is going to turn in on yourself and you're going to get depressed as hell, potentially suicidal.
So stop feeding your anger, what's done is done and there's a life out there to live now. As long as you sit there stroking your rage life's just going to pass you by, including the opportunity to meet someone better.
I disagree--the anger does not always turn inward, as long as the person can channel it into something more positive. OP, it is totally normal and okay to be in the "I hate him, he's a dick" phase for a while. Just don't get stuck in a rut. Give yourself a week to be pissed. One week, that's all you get. After that, you have to use that energy to do something positive--whether it's turning it into the strength to move on, better yourself, whatever.
wow. he sounds like an ass. i'm sorry that he thought that it was alright to tell you like that. and dragging you on for 2 years is just too much. i had a boyfriend who wanted to break up with me for a while and just never said anything and opted to blind side me but it wasn't after 2 years.
previously known as Mereep