View topic - Letting a baby cry to sleep
- If the baby is fed, changed, etc., and should be it's bedtime, is it okay to leave your baby to cry themselves asleep?
I've heard this is a very controversial topic so I figured it belonged here..
Do you feel like it does damage to the baby in the long run?
Okay where to start.. so my nephew is almost 8 months old, for a while now he's getting to the point where at night, when it's his time to sleep, he will cry and scream for almost an hour before he sleeps, sometimes it sounds like he's hurt and it breaks my heart, and my family worries so much. My sister-in-law believes it's the way to go and there's nothing wrong with it and he will eventually get used to it. My mother believes it's neglect and there might be a reason behind his crying (like medically wrong), I think my mom is also just not used to that because in her country they comfort the baby, and she's never experienced any family doing that. My sister-in-law does check on him periodically so it's not like she doesn't care.. she's tried soothing him and holding him but still he cries to no end.
I don't know what to believe and I really don't want a fight starting between them, I have a feeling there will be one soon so I'm hoping maybe you guys can give me your thoughts and help me understand more about this topic, both sides..
*sigh*
QuoteLast edited by Eillen on Thu Nov 18, 2010 6:41 pm; edited 4 times in total
I don't know. My parents would do that with my brother once in a while when they knew it was just him not wanting to go to sleep and that there was nothing physically wrong with him, he was just stubborn. My Mom said it tore her a part inside because a parents first reaction is to go to the baby if he/she is crying or screaming. My brother turned out fine.
Hopefully someone else can give you some good advice, the only thing I can think of is talking to the doctor about it and making sure that it definitely isn't something medical and then maybe going to a parenting forum or checking out journals that would go into that topic in order to get more advice.
Hopefully someone else can give you some good advice, the only thing I can think of is talking to the doctor about it and making sure that it definitely isn't something medical and then maybe going to a parenting forum or checking out journals that would go into that topic in order to get more advice.
Yeah I think most professionals say its ok. Would depend on the type of crying or for how long you would let the baby actually cry. As long as you are sure nothing is seriously wrong.
I think Ill be one of those moms who wouldnt just bc it makes me sad hearing babies cry even when I havent given birth so i can only imagine my own.
I think Ill be one of those moms who wouldnt just bc it makes me sad hearing babies cry even when I havent given birth so i can only imagine my own.
D:I'm Jekyll:D
Click My face for quest
1/4 burgundy spell
Click My face for quest
1/4 burgundy spell
Mariam Kitra; ahh. ;o yeah she believes he's being stubborn too, and says it's a way of training him to sleep aswell.
thanks, I'll suggest that
princejekyll; sometimes his cries are just the normal but then after a few minutes it's almost like screaming or as if he's in pain..
I've tried rubbing his back and putting music on and such, she said she's tried it all too, but nothing! sometimes when she picks him up he'll stop but after a while gets fussy again and she gives up and puts him back in his crib.
yeah me too, it would make me too sad! but I kinda understand why she does it since nothing seems to work and she seems a little stressed out..
--
& a little ironic, but I was doing a survey and these questions came up: question& following question
thanks, I'll suggest that
princejekyll; sometimes his cries are just the normal but then after a few minutes it's almost like screaming or as if he's in pain..
I've tried rubbing his back and putting music on and such, she said she's tried it all too, but nothing! sometimes when she picks him up he'll stop but after a while gets fussy again and she gives up and puts him back in his crib.
yeah me too, it would make me too sad! but I kinda understand why she does it since nothing seems to work and she seems a little stressed out..
--
& a little ironic, but I was doing a survey and these questions came up: question& following question
Wouldn't all that constant screaming and crying cause damage the child's vocal-cords after a period of time? I've always seen people give an infant a bottle of milk to a crying infant, after a few minutes(maybe 10-15), the infant falls asleep after all that constant sucking. Pacifiers seem to do the same thing, it tires the baby out to suck on something for so long.[/b]
NightmareRealm wrote:Wouldn't all that constant screaming and crying cause damage the child's vocal-cords after a period of time? I've always seen people give an infant a bottle of milk to a crying infant, after a few minutes(maybe 10-15), the infant falls asleep after all that constant sucking. Pacifiers seem to do the same thing, it tires the baby out to suck on something for so long.[/b]I wonder that too. I do remember her saying though (she believes) that it's good for his lungs & vocals because he's at the point where he's making sounds and whatnot. but yeah, I don't know anything about that or where to find that information!
I've seen her try feeding him, sometimes he refuses and cries. she tries letting him play/crawl/bounce but then he starts to fuss.. and he doesn't like pacifiers xD he's a stubborn little boy!
hmm..
Leaving a child to cry himself or herself to sleep might be harmful because you don't know what the child is crying for. It could be colic, a need for comfort, need for Mylicon (gas relief), or even a need for Humphrey's (at 8 months, expect him to teethe). I don't know too much of what's wrong, but I don't feel that leaving a child to cry is the best way to go about things (just me personally).
I agree, leaving an infant for a long period of time crying like that could be dangerous. I never heard of a baby not wanting to suck on a pacifier before, stubborn indeed.
Yeah I agree. he is teething and she thinks that he might be crying because of the pain but she can't do anything about it other than giving him teething pills.
but still, my mom believes it's still wrong to leave him, that he might feel unloved.
but still, my mom believes it's still wrong to leave him, that he might feel unloved.
NightmareRealm wrote:I agree, leaving an infant for a long period of time crying like that could be dangerous. I never heard of a baby not wanting to suck on a pacifier before, stubborn indeed.Not all babies like pacifiers.
My sister absolutely hated them.
She would suck on one, and as soon as she realised there wasn't going to be any food coming her way she would spit it out.
A Temper like a dragon, but loyal like a wolf
~Questing 985/1000k~
67200/72500 posts
If the crying doesn't stop after a long time, it might be a good idea to make sure the baby's okay...but other than that, I find it perfectly acceptable to let a child cry itself to sleep.
It depends on how they are crying. If they are just whimpering, then you can leave them alone. If they are crying heavy, wait a few minutes and then if it does not stop you should check your child. Usually if the child is already fed (especially recently) it is best not to give them a bottle again. Just because they are crying does not mean they are hungry or they need a diaper change. A lot of children fight sleep, even as young as 1 month old. My son does it all the time but I usually check him if he is crying heavy. I will never leave him for an hour to cry. That is dangerous and the child could be teething, colic or stomach pains. It is best to walk in and pat your child down. You don't need to pick them up. Sometimes babies crying in their sleep. It happens often and it is best to just pat them back to sleep. If they do stop within 10 mins, then it is nothing to worry about. It is when it is an hour or even a half hour, that is when you should check on your child. Never leave a baby crying for too long.
Experts do say it is okay, however there is limits. You have to make sure you understand your child's cry. A cry in pain might be a shriek, a cry because they are over tired might either be a whimper or a heavy cry and just a whimper could be simply he or she trying to get comfortable. Anything going over 10 mins you should check your child.
Experts do say it is okay, however there is limits. You have to make sure you understand your child's cry. A cry in pain might be a shriek, a cry because they are over tired might either be a whimper or a heavy cry and just a whimper could be simply he or she trying to get comfortable. Anything going over 10 mins you should check your child.
Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.
C. S. Lewis
What is it gonna do? Make them anti-social? Jeez, it's a baby, they won't remember it when they get older. I think it's fine to leave them there to sleep after they've been fed and changed and all that good stuff. I don't see what difference it would make to have to either stay up all hours of the night coddling the kid till he finally goes to sleep or letting him lay there and tucker himself out by crying. All it does is stress you out and leave you with sleepless nights and a baby that won't remember any of it either way. =/
Sorry if that's a little blunt or harsh, just my opinion.
Let the kid tire himself out, he'll get use to it and it'll become easier, you don't want to coddle the kid too much 'cause then they will never let you leave the room without wailing and throwing a fit.
Sorry if that's a little blunt or harsh, just my opinion.
Let the kid tire himself out, he'll get use to it and it'll become easier, you don't want to coddle the kid too much 'cause then they will never let you leave the room without wailing and throwing a fit.
-.::Patches||420:- wrote:What is it gonna do? Make them anti-social? Jeez, it's a baby, they won't remember it when they get older. I think it's fine to leave them there to sleep after they've been fed and changed and all that good stuff. I don't see what difference it would make to have to either stay up all hours of the night coddling the kid till he finally goes to sleep or letting him lay there and tucker himself out by crying. All it does is stress you out and leave you with sleepless nights and a baby that won't remember any of it either way. =/
Sorry if that's a little blunt or harsh, just my opinion.
Let the kid tire himself out, he'll get use to it and it'll become easier, you don't want to coddle the kid too much 'cause then they will never let you leave the room without wailing and throwing a fit.
That's true--with the exception of major trauma, concrete memories do not begin to form until age 3 or 4.
My nephew is almost 6 months now and not only at night does he throw a fit but when he gets sleepy during the day he tries to fight it off and will scream until you pick him up and hold him and THEN he falls asleep xD.I don't neglect him when I'm watching him but I'm certainly not going to hold him every second of the day because I try not to spoil him. So sometimes letting them lay there and cry for a little while (after you're sure there's nothing wrong with him/her) is fine.They'll tire themselves out quickly and eventually they'll be able to lay on their own without needing to be held and soothed.
Also it's your sister-in-law's child and she should be able to raise her child the way she sees fit.
Also it's your sister-in-law's child and she should be able to raise her child the way she sees fit.
