Ernya.com

PROLOGUE
All I’ve ever wanted was to be a real kid, not a kid with problems and a dysfunctional brain, or at least have a bit of a childhood. But one can’t always get what they dream for. That’s just me though. Maybe somewhere in this world, a little girl is spoiled silly and has a pony named Ice Cream, a big doll house for her dollies and a Papa that loves her. That girl, she isn’t me. Maybe she exists in my brain somewhere, tucked away sucking her thumb.
I wouldn’t want to be that girl though; naïve to everything in the world, idly tugging on her mama’s skirt at every instance of fear. It could be that all I want is to have this brain to myself, to not have to share an already cramped space with another pesky soul.
But this isn’t my story, nor is it Emilia’s story. This is a story of despair and thought stealing. Of broken promises and shattered words. This is a story of how a stupid girl sticks her nose into a pile of something awfully smelly and gets bit on the nose by the troll who lives in it.

ONE - A SHORT INTRODUCTION
It was May she was only about seven. She worried about nothing, didn’t know what I knew. That was for the best, to keep her innocence. Her name is Emilia, and she’s my host. I watched her world grow through clouded eyes and sweet, sugary smiles. I found great distaste in the world as she viewed it, but that was just me. I didn’t believe in sugar-coating things, made me sick.
Who am I? I’ll give you a brief introduction. I live in Emilia’s head; I guess, in a sense, I’m her second personality. This isn’t like split personalities where I popped out unexpectedly every once in a while. I was stuck in the recesses of her mind until heaven knows when.
We —well, Emilia—lived in Bridgebury with her illegitimate father and her kindred mother. I was just a viewer, an audience in a reality show, watching their troubles unfold. No one knew about me, not even Emilia. I was glad she had no knowledge of me, because then, things would grow problematical.
Emilia giggled, snapping me out of my trance and I watched her skip Miss Dolly around her patio. I wanted to go outside but if I even as much as budged her, she would notice, so I stayed still. She sung a sweet lullaby and brought out Mister Dolly. She made them flirt and hug and kiss, then they had a baby. Poof, just like that, as though kissing really did produce offspring. I rolled my eyes, trying not to snicker; such an innocent child.
She had such a sugar-coated sense of the world, as though everything was roses without thorns. If her parents never drilled some sense into that girl the world would chew her up and spit her out. I sighed, trying to keep myself entertained. I found her days awfully boring. She was such a princess; it irked me to no end.
The girl’s little chubby hands reached out and wrapped around the bosom of her little dolly, by the name of Little Dolly –big surprise there—I think she needed a little lesson on creative names. She lacked imagination; perhaps I had soaked it all up. Again, my tastes; Emilia put Little Dolly on the bed and Miss Dolly and Mister Dolly sat down at the table. She then started singing about how they were a big, warm, cozy family, even though they looked like they shared zero genetics.
“Angel, come out here darling,” her mother —Maria—called from the living space.
“Coming, Ma!” Emilia called out, dropping her already worn dollies promptly. Such sloppiness, such carelessness, I wanted to scold her like a hen and make her pick up her beautiful little toys and not ruin them. But, despite my need, Emilia left them, lying unloved on the dulling hardwood. She skipped promptly into the living room, as though trying to please her mother, plopping on the soft loveseat.
“Are you excited to see Gram?” Maria asked, smiling sweetly at her daughter.
“I can’t wait!” Emilia bounced in her seat, grinning brightly. Maria laughed softly and sat down next to her daughter.
“I’m so proud of you, Angel, you’re becoming a big girl,” Maria cooed, brushing a lock of Emilia’s silky, strawberry-blond hair off her face. The little girl was the striking image of her father: big, round, creamy blue eyed and long, luscious hair accented with cute freckled cheeks. However, she held her mother’s frame, petite but plump, perfectly proportioned. Her nickname had been Angel since she first opened those hypnotizing eyes.
“I hope you get better, Mama! I want you to be happy ALL the time,” Emilia sung, wrapping her arms around her mother’s neck. Maria hugged her tightly, pulling her close to her heart.
“I know Angel, I know…” Maria whispered, stroking her daughter’s hair, as though trying to find comfort in her daughter’s essence.

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The car wobbled along the cobblestone road and Emilia’s eyes curious eyes breathed in the new scenery. She’d never been to Gram’s house and personally, I was curious about the new woman. Although I had a few tucked away memories, ones that Emilia couldn’t reach, the woman always kept a mysterious essence around her.
This was also Emilia’s first car ride alone – alone in a sense of not having her mother right there. It was so stupid to send your seven year old on a journey of nearly four hours alone expect for the scrooge car driver known as Lesiel.
It was still Emilia’s initial ground-sweeping of London. She’d never been farther than ten yards from her house. The girl could sit for hours with her palms and eyes clued to the car window.
I was elsewhere; such trivial things such as scenery didn’t impress me. Maybe one day I could show this girl something more worth her time then stupid trees. Now wasn't that day.
The car finally bumped to a stop and stuttered loudly. I wish I could’ve embraced Emilia’s mounting excitement but there was just nothing that “Gram” could evoke inside of me that was excitement. Lesiel opened the car door and the girl hopped out, not minding the sweet pink dress that nearly tore as she bounded out wildly.
“Hello my darling Emilia!” Gram was a plump woman with a pleasant face. She definitely was the grandmotherly type. Soft, big brown eyes and soft gray bun plopped over her heart-shaped face.
“Hello Gram,” Emilia had her uneasiness but she trusted the woman. Maria didn’t lie to her – most of the time. The girl let herself be pulled into the woman’s arms and squeezed till her lungs hurt.
“Come inside, you must be bored silly. I know car rides drive me batty,” Gram rambled, placing a gentle hand between Emilia’s shoulder blades and guiding her into the foyer. It was quite the intricate place, almost like a castle. Gram was wealthy but she found no use for her money other than to fill her home with useless things. Money was just a minor inconvenience in my eyes.
“Do I smell cookies?” Emilia’s eyes grew bright as the smell of baked goods filled her nose. I clucked, of course she wouldn’t notice the fine art; it’s always food that gets a kid.
“Why yes you do. I hope you like sugar cookies. Your mother didn’t fill me in much, I mean, I haven’t seen you since you were a wee thing, and now you’ve fledged into a princess,” Gram said, sweeping toward the kitchen. Emilia ducked behind her, following her with diner-plate eyes.
The kitchen had a fine layout –not that Emilia noticed in the slightest- it was very odd in the huge mansion of a house Gram had but felt necessary to the romance of cottages. The pale yellow walls brought a warm, citrus feel to the room, enveloping it in an atmosphere of sweet, sugariness. Everything was so quaint and tidy; and my faith for Emilia’s family swelled as Gram handed her a soft white cookie.
TWO – MISCHIEVOUS BREAD THIEF - under construction
Jayden gave a quirky smile to the girl and tossed his thick, dark hair.
“Bet you can’t catch me little girl!” he hollered, his big, brown eyes full of misbehavior.
“Well don’t bet the whole loaf!” Emilia called wildly, a scowl across her face. The two had an unlikely bond but had grown close. Emilia was the rule-following, academic one, with an innocent smile. Jayden was the troubled one, with a wicked smile and a knack for rebellion.
“You’re just a big sissy!” Jayden shrieked with a toothy grin on his face.
“That boy is nothing but trouble,” Gram clucked, watching from over her knitting. Emilia sat down on the little metal stool on the back patio and watched Jayden tromp around their backyard.
“Well, I enjoy staying clean, thank you very much,” Emilia crossed her arms over her chest and stuck her tongue out.

THREE – A PROBLEM
It was none the less a later time; a lean boy with dark hair sat in the cab of a beat-up old car. His golden brown eyes were focused intently on the road in front of him. An older Emilia faced out the window on the passage side, chewing on her lip. The car hobbled lamely along the road. Jadyn didn’t ever have the money to get the newest version he’d been longing for. It didn’t get him very many popularity points.
“It’s not the best car in the world, not the model I was hoping for but none the less, at least it’s something,” Jay said softly, blushing slightly.
“Don’t be embarrassed Jay, it’s something at least,” Emilia answered. Not the right answer I grumbled, rolling my eyes. Emilia had grown accustomed to sensing me from time to time. She blamed it on stress.
“Whatever,” Jay whispered, his eyes leaning over to her. He’d certainly grown from the nine year old who had wanted nothing to do with the new seven year old brat. She wasn’t interested, I was. It was different being interested in the world around Emilia; I mostly stayed out of all the reality business.
“Are you alright Jay?” Emilia asked, her eyes scanning him. Jay nodded and smiled a fake smile at her.
“Listen, Emilia,” Jay said, his eyes wavered onto her and then back onto the road.
“Yeah,” she’d sunken back in her seat and tucked her knees to her chest. She was weary from the day of work. Part-time college, weekend jobs and full-time high school took a lot out on a person. Today was a slower day though and seemed to just drag on.
Jay had grown into the habit of dragging her everywhere. Even though he’d dropped out of high school for an apprenticeship with his father; he’d wanted to finish school but his strict, overprotective father didn’t allow it. He barely let Emilia around Jay.
“Uh…well…do you ever think about maybe…having a boyfriend?” Jay asked timidly, chewing on his lip. Emilia didn’t catch his drift.
“No…boys are better friends…I know I’m old enough but….well it’d be too much for me,” Emilia was drifting out of herself, allowing me a little relaxation and lounging in our shared mind.
“That sucks,” he couldn’t keep the disappointment out of his voice. Although Emilia was only 17 and he was 19 he couldn’t help but want her. I could see this easily and I longed for him to want me. It was a strange jealousy, sharing a mind with someone and not getting a chance to show your true self.
“Oh…Jay,” Emilia finally caught his drift after a few minutes of awkward silence. “You know we could never be more than best friends…your dad will kill you. Besides, you’re a brother to me.”
Jay kept silent, his eyes trained on the road. The trees and houses flew past and Emilia took content in biting her fingernails and the dead skin around them. I watched Jay out of Emilia’s peripheral vision.
“Listen,” the air was thick with dark stillness and doubt as Emilia finally found her words. “I didn’t mean it like that Jay. You’re the only real friend I have and I don’t want to lose you over some stupid breakup. I love you, Jay; you’re the brother I never had. The words cringed and rattled inside of our head.
“Yeah, I guess. I’m sorry I made it so…awkward. You know me though,” Jay flashed his award winning smile.
“It’s alright. I guess I’m just not ready for that kind of stuff yet,” Emilia grimaced and sighed. “I feel bad though.”
“Don’t!” Jay said sternly, looking at her for a fraction of a moment. Emilia nodded and sunk into silence, bathing the car in indecisive thoughts.
“Do you want to stop by the ice cream parlor? I mean, it is a Friday,” Jay asked, a faint glimmer of hope in his voice. Emilia smiled and nodded.
“Sounds wonderful, I’ll sure Gram wouldn’t mind a bit,” Emilia said, her voice perking up. Out of the corner of her vision she saw Jay relax.
The car took a sudden turn and Emilia laughed brightly. The turn to the parlor was so sharp but it added a little excitement in their day. “One day you’ll tip it over and everything will be bad.” Gram’s words barely trickled through Emilia’s ears. She had a tendency to not listen to her grandmother, no matter how wise she was.
“Here we are,” Jay said, plopping the car in front of the little cozy shop. No one went there so Jay and Emilia were Mr. Peloski’s number one customers.
“Hey, Peloski, we’re here for the usual!” Jay boomed as he knocked open the door, Emilia trailing behind. The old man’s tired eyes looked up from behind the register and smiled.
“Hey there you crazy wiper snappers, you know, I can hear you coming a mile away when you make that turn. You two better be a bit more careful how you get around this place,” Mr. Peloski said, shaking his head. He was kindred old man and one of Gram’s boyfriends from high school. They would’ve been so cute together had they not split up.
“We’ll try,” Jay said, taking the usual seat. Emilia gracefully sat down next to him and kicked her feet. The stools were high and made her feel like a little kid again.
“Well, try harder, we don’t want your brains to get knocked out,” Mr. Peloski lectured, scooping ice cream into delectable little sugar cones.
“One for the lady and one for the rascal,” he snorted, handing the ice cream to the two.
“Thank you,” Emilia said, handing him the payment. “Keep the change.” Mr. Peloski’s eyes twinkled at the kind hearted tip. These little tips were the only thing keeping Mr. Peloski in business.
“So how’s AP Chemistry?” Jay asked, licking his Rocky Road cone. Emilia shrugged.
“It’s alright. I’m still keeping my A- average surprisingly. Maybe I’ll make it into college,” Emilia pondered, digging into the sherbet topping the sugar cone.
“I’ll never get anywhere in life. I swear, as soon as I can I’m leaving this place. Bridgebury has NOTHING to offer me,” Jay said through mouthfuls of ice cream. Emilia shook her head.
“You’re dad will hunt you down and kill you,” Emilia contradicted sadly. Jay melted, sorrow leaking into his eyes.
“I know. I don’t get it. How come the court gets to decide ages? I mean, I’m 19 for crying out loud!” Jay finished his ice cream and smacked his head on the desk. “Can’t wait until I’m 20, then the world will fear the name Jadyn Rockwell.”
Emilia patted him kindly on the shoulder. “It’ll be fine.” In reality, she didn’t and I sensed it.
“Why can’t it be like the good old days; the creek, the tire swing and all that stuff? I mean, this whole new law is just so stupid. They say it’s protecting the youth until they’re ready but really, they aren’t.”
“I know but it’s their rule and well, we can’t do much about it.”
“Yeah, yeah, but I want things to be like when they were all those years ago. When we went back and forth between each other’s house and explore. Why did mom have to go? Everything was so perfect!” Jay slammed his fists onto the counter in frustration. Emilia bit her lip and hugged him.
“Hey, calm yourself. Everything will be perfect. You’ll turn 20, your dad won’t have any more legal say in your life and you can live. We can go off together and never come back. We’re best friends, forever.” Emilia squeezed his hand, their cuts lining up. As stupid children they bound themselves by the “blood ritual”. Equal cuts on the palm and squeezing together until they were one; maybe that’s what kept them together through countless arguments.
“You have really pretty blue eyes,” Jay teased. Emilia grimaced and laughed, shoving Jay lightly.
“Cut it out you!” Emilia said smiling lightly. The happiness wasn’t a cure but a cease fire. Jay slumped down. Emilia hit herself mentally.
“Whatever.”
“Jay! Come on! Don’t’ act like that!”
“Let’s head home,” Jay said solemnly, his face clouding.
“Thanks, Mr. P,” Emilia called over her shoulder. She ducked into the car and shut the door tightly behind her. Jay slid in and sighed.
“I hate this so much,” his voice was low and defeated, hurt balling up in his eyes. Emilia curled into a ball and nodded, agreeing silently with him.
“I know,” Emilia said, and the words plunged the car into silence. The car roared back onto the road and Jay kept his eyes far on the horizon.
“It’s almost 6, Gram might get worried soon,” Emilia said. Jay kept his silence, a dark cloud hanging over him. Emilia gave up and looked back out the window. 16th street came and went and Emilia tensed.
“Our street is back that way,” Emilia said, fear rising in her voice. Jay remained silent like a stone. She wanted to hit him, scream out but she kept her temper.
“Jay…” she whispered, putting a hand on his shoulder. Emilia knew him well enough that his medication wouldn’t work all the time. Sometimes he’d just get in a dark place and he couldn’t crawl out. Bad things happened with Dark Jay crept out.
“Jay,” Emilia murmured, tears welling in her eyes. Jay’s hands dropped from the steering wheel and a terrifying sadness took him over. Emilia screamed and grabbed for the wheel.
“Jay, please snap out of it! I need you!” The car’s headlights waved back and forth on the road and cars honked their horns noisily at them. Tears clouded Emilia’s vision and she smacked Jay wildly. He looked at her blankly, as though she was a stranger.
“Oh God, please Jay! Wake up! I need you! Wake up!” Emilia cried, helplessness creeping into her stomach. Jay shook his head.
“This is for the best Emilia. I don’t want to live but I can’t leave you. So I’m taking you with me,” Jay’s voice was barely audible but the words crept up Emilia’s spine. He smacked her hands away from the wheel and grasped it like a serpent. Emilia sobbed in the passenger seat, clinging to the cushion.
A mangle of tree limbs, the screech of tearing metal and the sound of cracking bone flew and the darkness settled in.