View topic - The biggest news. (Update on 4.27.12)
Lady Heather wrote:Geeklet wrote:The guy who got me drunk isn't important, because he took advantage of me and will have no part in my child's life. I admit that it was a bad decision to drink, but don't judge.
If you have a DNA test and he's the father then he's definitely going to play a part in the kid's life, that's not up to you to decide at that point. If he goes after visitation rights he may very well get them unless you take him to court over the rape..which I would have done long before now if I were you!
He was rude and dismissive to her when she told him she was pregnant from the rape, so I would surmise he would not want anything to do with the child. Plus with the horrible, atrocious crime he did, he is merely a sperm donor and nothing more. That does not a father make.
And she already mentioned how she was going after child support and how she was going to press charges.
She's going through a lot and I'm sure she's thought of all of these things a million times over.
Quote
Thank you for the Berry Fairy, Dark!
You're a brat and I'll get you for this :D
So, it seems like there's a few people here hung up on the victim-blame of the situation and I really felt this needed to be said:
Do you guys REALLY THINK she needs people on the Internet to tell her she shouldn't have been in the situation? Is it somehow your place to tell her that she shouldn't have drank as much as she did, or that she should watch her alcohol intake, be more careful next time, etc.? Because I'm about 100% sure that the OP is WELL aware of the situation, more than anyone else here, and I really don't believe that she somehow doesn't understand the causes and effects of what has happened to her. To have almost half of the commenters in this thread feel the need to somehow "warn" her or tell her what she should have done differently, or that she shouldn't make that same mistake again is offensive and hurtful, NOT JUST TO THE OP but to EVERY woman who may be in this thread who has been raped after drinking too much.
I can honestly say, after having the experience of drinking more than I could handle and having been raped as a result of that, NO ONE goes through that and doesn't realize the horrible, horrible mistake she has made. Guilt is a HUGE part of dealing with the trauma of having been sexually violated, those of you who have been through this know that. It is even more of a part when the rape could have been avoided by having been more cautious. It is not anyone's place to tell this girl what she did wrong, she is more than well aware of it, I'm sure. To have so many people in one place tell her "you should be more responsible", ESPECIALLY in a thread where she is trying to talk about her decisions regarding her PREGNANCY and NOT the rape.
Now. I'm sorry if I offended anyone by posting this. It is not directed to any one person in particular, but to the group collective, in defense of the woman who posted this thread to share the news about her child, can we all PLEASE stop making these comments. It's really rude, even if it wasn't intended that way.
Do you guys REALLY THINK she needs people on the Internet to tell her she shouldn't have been in the situation? Is it somehow your place to tell her that she shouldn't have drank as much as she did, or that she should watch her alcohol intake, be more careful next time, etc.? Because I'm about 100% sure that the OP is WELL aware of the situation, more than anyone else here, and I really don't believe that she somehow doesn't understand the causes and effects of what has happened to her. To have almost half of the commenters in this thread feel the need to somehow "warn" her or tell her what she should have done differently, or that she shouldn't make that same mistake again is offensive and hurtful, NOT JUST TO THE OP but to EVERY woman who may be in this thread who has been raped after drinking too much.
I can honestly say, after having the experience of drinking more than I could handle and having been raped as a result of that, NO ONE goes through that and doesn't realize the horrible, horrible mistake she has made. Guilt is a HUGE part of dealing with the trauma of having been sexually violated, those of you who have been through this know that. It is even more of a part when the rape could have been avoided by having been more cautious. It is not anyone's place to tell this girl what she did wrong, she is more than well aware of it, I'm sure. To have so many people in one place tell her "you should be more responsible", ESPECIALLY in a thread where she is trying to talk about her decisions regarding her PREGNANCY and NOT the rape.
Now. I'm sorry if I offended anyone by posting this. It is not directed to any one person in particular, but to the group collective, in defense of the woman who posted this thread to share the news about her child, can we all PLEASE stop making these comments. It's really rude, even if it wasn't intended that way.
I highly agree with what Savagery just posted. Some stuff posted is just way out of line. :/
Anyway. I hope your baby will be healthy and happy when you do have him/her Geeklet. Good to hear that you have support. I really hope everything goes better for you from this point on. Good luck and try to stay positive and healthy through this. :)
Anyway. I hope your baby will be healthy and happy when you do have him/her Geeklet. Good to hear that you have support. I really hope everything goes better for you from this point on. Good luck and try to stay positive and healthy through this. :)
Savagery and Eloquence wrote:So, it seems like there's a few people here hung up on the victim-blame of the situation and I really felt this needed to be said:
Do you guys REALLY THINK she needs people on the Internet to tell her she shouldn't have been in the situation? Is it somehow your place to tell her that she shouldn't have drank as much as she did, or that she should watch her alcohol intake, be more careful next time, etc.? Because I'm about 100% sure that the OP is WELL aware of the situation, more than anyone else here, and I really don't believe that she somehow doesn't understand the causes and effects of what has happened to her. To have almost half of the commenters in this thread feel the need to somehow "warn" her or tell her what she should have done differently, or that she shouldn't make that same mistake again is offensive and hurtful, NOT JUST TO THE OP but to EVERY woman who may be in this thread who has been raped after drinking too much.
I can honestly say, after having the experience of drinking more than I could handle and having been raped as a result of that, NO ONE goes through that and doesn't realize the horrible, horrible mistake she has made. Guilt is a HUGE part of dealing with the trauma of having been sexually violated, those of you who have been through this know that. It is even more of a part when the rape could have been avoided by having been more cautious. It is not anyone's place to tell this girl what she did wrong, she is more than well aware of it, I'm sure. To have so many people in one place tell her "you should be more responsible", ESPECIALLY in a thread where she is trying to talk about her decisions regarding her PREGNANCY and NOT the rape.
Now. I'm sorry if I offended anyone by posting this. It is not directed to any one person in particular, but to the group collective, in defense of the woman who posted this thread to share the news about her child, can we all PLEASE stop making these comments. It's really rude, even if it wasn't intended that way.
*stands up and applauds*
Finally. Someone to help stand up for this girl.
Anyways; op I'm sorry to hear about the situation; but I commend your boyfriend on staying by your side and helping you through this. You have a serious keeper on your hands.
Savagery and Eloquence wrote:So, it seems like there's a few people here hung up on the victim-blame of the situation and I really felt this needed to be said:
Do you guys REALLY THINK she needs people on the Internet to tell her she shouldn't have been in the situation? Is it somehow your place to tell her that she shouldn't have drank as much as she did, or that she should watch her alcohol intake, be more careful next time, etc.? Because I'm about 100% sure that the OP is WELL aware of the situation, more than anyone else here, and I really don't believe that she somehow doesn't understand the causes and effects of what has happened to her. To have almost half of the commenters in this thread feel the need to somehow "warn" her or tell her what she should have done differently, or that she shouldn't make that same mistake again is offensive and hurtful, NOT JUST TO THE OP but to EVERY woman who may be in this thread who has been raped after drinking too much.
I can honestly say, after having the experience of drinking more than I could handle and having been raped as a result of that, NO ONE goes through that and doesn't realize the horrible, horrible mistake she has made. Guilt is a HUGE part of dealing with the trauma of having been sexually violated, those of you who have been through this know that. It is even more of a part when the rape could have been avoided by having been more cautious. It is not anyone's place to tell this girl what she did wrong, she is more than well aware of it, I'm sure. To have so many people in one place tell her "you should be more responsible", ESPECIALLY in a thread where she is trying to talk about her decisions regarding her PREGNANCY and NOT the rape.
Now. I'm sorry if I offended anyone by posting this. It is not directed to any one person in particular, but to the group collective, in defense of the woman who posted this thread to share the news about her child, can we all PLEASE stop making these comments. It's really rude, even if it wasn't intended that way.
this is the best post i've seen anywhere, all day
i was going to say something but it seems you already have so i guess it's not really necessary
but maybe i'll just add this anyways:
the fact that she was drinking does not make it any less of the rapist's fault
it is 100% the rapist's fault and 0% hers
don't anybody ever tell a victim of a violent or sexual crime "well maybe if you weren't drinking, this wouldn't have happened, so now you know better next time"
EVER
that is never, NEVER okay
that's the equivalent of
"maybe if your skirt wasn't so short, they wouldn't have molested you, so now you know better next time"
or "maybe if you didn't have money, you wouldn't have been mugged, so now you know better next time"
or "maybe if you wouldn't have resisted, they wouldn't have beat you, so now you know better next time"
Hell, she didn't even have to be black-out drunk because who knows, MAYBE SHE WAS ROOFIED OR OTHERWISE DRUGGED?
it's not like she would ever even know it, that stuff is out of your system pretty quick
TL;DR quit with the victim-blaming 'cause ya'll are full of it
ya'll know who you are
i was going to say something but it seems you already have so i guess it's not really necessary
but maybe i'll just add this anyways:
the fact that she was drinking does not make it any less of the rapist's fault
it is 100% the rapist's fault and 0% hers
don't anybody ever tell a victim of a violent or sexual crime "well maybe if you weren't drinking, this wouldn't have happened, so now you know better next time"
EVER
that is never, NEVER okay
that's the equivalent of
"maybe if your skirt wasn't so short, they wouldn't have molested you, so now you know better next time"
or "maybe if you didn't have money, you wouldn't have been mugged, so now you know better next time"
or "maybe if you wouldn't have resisted, they wouldn't have beat you, so now you know better next time"
Hell, she didn't even have to be black-out drunk because who knows, MAYBE SHE WAS ROOFIED OR OTHERWISE DRUGGED?
it's not like she would ever even know it, that stuff is out of your system pretty quick
TL;DR quit with the victim-blaming 'cause ya'll are full of it
ya'll know who you are
❤
Dude I would totally call the cops. That's rape whether you were passed out drunk or not. Send his butt to jail! Well even if he doesn't end up behind bars, he seems like a low life who will probably end up there anyway for back child support. I know after my ex abandoned me after my daughter was born, he kinda went down hill. He got arrested for terroristic threatening (which I still freaking laugh at almost 3 years later) against his ex wife and their son. He's with a girl because she can't have kids but I just sit back and laugh at his excuse of a so called life because I'm taking care of a beautiful toddler (though sometimes I swear she's a little devil. Whole thing of milk on the floor anyone?) and I have a great boyfriend who stepped up to help me raise her even though he doesn't have to.
I'm glad you're taking this so well. I would be freaking out and I did for a while. I had to rely on my mom to take care of my daughter for a while because it hurt to just look at her. I regret ever thinking that way but once you have your beautiful baby, it'll be awesome... until the terrible 2's. That's when you wanna pull your hair out XD Nah... it'll still be freaking awesome. Congrats on the baby!
I'm glad you're taking this so well. I would be freaking out and I did for a while. I had to rely on my mom to take care of my daughter for a while because it hurt to just look at her. I regret ever thinking that way but once you have your beautiful baby, it'll be awesome... until the terrible 2's. That's when you wanna pull your hair out XD Nah... it'll still be freaking awesome. Congrats on the baby!
I'm really glad to hear you're taking this so well :)
And I may not know you, and saying this may not really matter, but I'm proud of you.
And I may not know you, and saying this may not really matter, but I'm proud of you.
Oh wow..... Sorry to hear about the unfortunate way you conceived. :(
But I do hope that this will turn out to be a good thing. :)
Maybe in time your Christopher(?), will come around cause even if its not HIS child, its still a part of YOU. And if he loves you then he'll love the baby too. :)
But I do wish you the best of luck with everything. You seem to want a girl, so I hope you get your wish. :)
Baby dust to you!! :D
But I do hope that this will turn out to be a good thing. :)
Maybe in time your Christopher(?), will come around cause even if its not HIS child, its still a part of YOU. And if he loves you then he'll love the baby too. :)
But I do wish you the best of luck with everything. You seem to want a girl, so I hope you get your wish. :)
Baby dust to you!! :D
Dante ish so awesome!!!
Well congrats, i think...
personally if that happened to me,
i wouldn't have kept it.
it'd just be a reminder of what'd happened. :/
I really agree with AcidDrop, a rape baby is no good to keep.
but goodluck!
personally if that happened to me,
i wouldn't have kept it.
it'd just be a reminder of what'd happened. :/
I really agree with AcidDrop, a rape baby is no good to keep.
but goodluck!
Omg you are strong for having the baby and trying to be calm. If it was me I would be freaking out like bad
Wow. This is heavy talk 0_o I really wish you the best luck with the baby . . .
~I support~
Undertaker's face
that black also is a colour
Grell Sutcliff
red eyes
lost my shoes 0_o . . .
con grazzles i hope your babbie is cute