View topic - Dating a pedophile!?
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Greetings, ED.
I'm here to speak on behalf of most teens in a relationship with an older man.
I find it quite irritating when people seem to judge another when nothing is actually known about the person in question, but everyone has their own opinions.
To get to the story, I'm sixteen, but my boyfriend is twenty-four.
You're probably thinking "Oh, no! Eight year age difference, He's a pedophile!"
Wrong. Just look at some older couples, I've known quite a few who are at least 14 years apart in their age. It's actually quite common.
Aside from that, just because you're dating someone underage DOESN'T make you a pedophile. By definition, a pedophile is one who is sexually attracted to children, yes, HOWEVER, it also states it is an interest in children who have yet to hit puberty, which could be anywhere from 1-10 years of age, but is often used incorrectly as a general term for interest in minors under legal age of consent, which in Alabama, is sixteen. Even then, nothing illegal is being committed unless acted upon by the person in question.
On another note, since it's a 'fetish', and often an interest always there, as soon as the girl were to turn legal age, he would lose interest in her and find a younger girl. It's a mental disorder, a serious one, not a term you can just throw around.
Do you ever hear stories on the news about pedophiles? I'm sure you do.
Their goal is mainly to seek the sexual pleasure they desire by kidnapping/raping small children, the majority of the time harming them physically.
There's a difference in dating someone under legal age and being a pedophile.
Do your research, learn the difference.
For those of you that agree with me, kudos to you, I'm glad you understand.
For those of you who don't, I just laid out the facts for you right there, everyone has their own preference, but that doesn't mean you can enforce your will upon others.
The overall point of this rant: You can't choose who you fall in love with.
So now, I am asking you ED, What are your thoughts/opinions on this topic?
I would love to hear what you think.
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Honestly, I doubt that a person that underage has the mental maturity to engage in a romantic relationship with an adult. I don't think the older person in the relationship is trying to exploit the younger person or whatever, there very well could be genuine feelings there, but I think that out of respect for the younger person's emotional and intellectual development they should hold back on a romantic relationship until the younger person is better suited to the adult world.
That said, I don't think being attracted to a teenager makes you a pedophile. By the time kids start hitting 16 or 17, the line starts blurring appearance-wise between teenagers and adults. So I don't think that it's any sort of fetish or mental disorder or whatever, it's perfectly natural.
That said, I don't think being attracted to a teenager makes you a pedophile. By the time kids start hitting 16 or 17, the line starts blurring appearance-wise between teenagers and adults. So I don't think that it's any sort of fetish or mental disorder or whatever, it's perfectly natural.
I agree on the maturity thing, Some people should just stay out of that situation altogether, but the same situation applies for a couple who is 17 and 19.
It's ridiculous how the law works sometimes.
But I'm saying a mental disorder as in those who want to physically harm children for their own sexual benefit. It's sickening.
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In situations like that, usually Romeo and Juliet laws apply. Depends on what state you live in, I suppose. I know in mine as long as the couple is within 3 or 4 years of each other age-wise, it's not illegal even if one of the partners is underage.
But yes, the law can be very silly.
But yes, the law can be very silly.
I am torn on the fence on this one. I haven't read any of the replies, so this is just my point of view.
Age difference I think should be about 10 years most. I however wouldn't date anyone under the age of 18. I personally wouldn't go over 5 years.
That's just me though.
If I was a parent, I wouldn't allow it.
Age difference I think should be about 10 years most. I however wouldn't date anyone under the age of 18. I personally wouldn't go over 5 years.
That's just me though.
If I was a parent, I wouldn't allow it.
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I'm kinda half and half with this one actually. CAuse there are different TYPES of pedophiles. The post pubescent pedos like girls and boys between 14 and 17, though with this 24 year old I can't really say.
I don't know anything about his behavior, or what he says so it could be genuine love.
mostly pedo's going after the teens are in their mid to late 30's or older, so I don't think you have a problem. People are gonna have opinions on age differences no matter where you go though, so just don't let it get to you. If he really loves you and your happy together then ignore the skeptics and go for it. ^_^
I don't know anything about his behavior, or what he says so it could be genuine love.
mostly pedo's going after the teens are in their mid to late 30's or older, so I don't think you have a problem. People are gonna have opinions on age differences no matter where you go though, so just don't let it get to you. If he really loves you and your happy together then ignore the skeptics and go for it. ^_^
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I'm sorry Ricey, but you're trying to justify something that is not alright! You picked and chose what you wanted out of the definition of Pedophilia while choosing to ignore the full meaning. Your boyfriend has no business looking at you, or even calling you his girlfriend! More than likely, the moment you put out is when he'll up and leave as most older guys just want that(along with the majority of guys your age).
Case in point: At 16, I dated a 21yr. old. I had permission from my parents because he was a friend of my sister, whom she vouched for. As the relationship continued, he became more pressuring on wanting to have sex with me. And at the time, I wasn't mentally ready and told him no. It was a few weeks later that we broke up after having dated for 6 months. During those last few weeks, he was seeing another girl at work.
While not all older guys are creeps, if he was truly a good guy, he wouldn't look twice at you. And I'll be frank and say you're foolish if you honestly believe this guy is interested in more than just sex. I honestly wish I knew who your parents were so I could e-mail them and tell them.
Case in point: At 16, I dated a 21yr. old. I had permission from my parents because he was a friend of my sister, whom she vouched for. As the relationship continued, he became more pressuring on wanting to have sex with me. And at the time, I wasn't mentally ready and told him no. It was a few weeks later that we broke up after having dated for 6 months. During those last few weeks, he was seeing another girl at work.
While not all older guys are creeps, if he was truly a good guy, he wouldn't look twice at you. And I'll be frank and say you're foolish if you honestly believe this guy is interested in more than just sex. I honestly wish I knew who your parents were so I could e-mail them and tell them.
It's not my business, but I wouldn't date a guy like that. You're a teenager in highschool, he's an adult with a job, or going to college. xD I can't even imagine what you two would begin to relate to each other about.
But honestly, that's not the only type of pedophile. A lot of older guys target high school girls because they know they want to look cool and mature with an adult boyfriend, and they can get easy sex from that.
I mean, look at it this way, if you were 24, would you date a sixteen year old?
Wow, I wrote this like 8 months ago, and I have to say that in time I think the EXACT opposite of this. In 8 months I got quite a few older friends in their twenties, and I have to say I'm perfectly fine with the idea of dating an older guy. Honestly, it's not anybody else's business, and love is love.
But honestly, that's not the only type of pedophile. A lot of older guys target high school girls because they know they want to look cool and mature with an adult boyfriend, and they can get easy sex from that.
I mean, look at it this way, if you were 24, would you date a sixteen year old?
Wow, I wrote this like 8 months ago, and I have to say that in time I think the EXACT opposite of this. In 8 months I got quite a few older friends in their twenties, and I have to say I'm perfectly fine with the idea of dating an older guy. Honestly, it's not anybody else's business, and love is love.
Last edited by Drazil on Sun Dec 18, 2011 6:17 am; edited 1 time in total
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When I was 13, I was involved with a 20 year old, so I can't really say much.
I say love is love, no matter what. I mean, unless its a 13 year old with like, a 56 year old, that's something else.
But I know I'm not going to get with anyone that much older then me again, because my dad got the person in trouble with the cops.
I say love is love, no matter what. I mean, unless its a 13 year old with like, a 56 year old, that's something else.
But I know I'm not going to get with anyone that much older then me again, because my dad got the person in trouble with the cops.
I think it's fine, maybe a little misguided because in general a 16 year old does not truly know themselves or where they want to be in life. In their next 8 years they're going to change so much that I wouldn't say the relationship would necessarily last to long. However, I would hope that the 16 year old is extremely mature for their age for someone in their late 20s to be with them. They aren't able to go out and do some of the things that a couple in their 20s would normally do for dates or activities. Not to mention, the sexual side of things, if they aren't careful and someone gets upset the older of the two could end up in a lot of trouble.
It all depends on the situation, really. Relationships depend on the people in them. I don't think you can say that what won't work for one couple won't work for another. Yes, there are creeps out there. But not everyone is a creep.
I just turned 22 at the beginning of this month. The guy I can't seem to get out of my head is 17. At first, I felt just awful about feeling how I do about him. I thought of myself as some sort of creeper. But, really, there is nothing wrong with it. We have common goals, beliefs, interests, hobbies, and etc. It's not terribly surprising that I developed feelings for him.
A girl being older than the guy seems to be horribly unaccepted in society for some reason.
Everyone uses the term "cougar" when the woman is older. It is not usually said in a /positive/ way.
I just turned 22 at the beginning of this month. The guy I can't seem to get out of my head is 17. At first, I felt just awful about feeling how I do about him. I thought of myself as some sort of creeper. But, really, there is nothing wrong with it. We have common goals, beliefs, interests, hobbies, and etc. It's not terribly surprising that I developed feelings for him.
A girl being older than the guy seems to be horribly unaccepted in society for some reason.
Everyone uses the term "cougar" when the woman is older. It is not usually said in a /positive/ way.
I dont mind older guys, as long as they are upfront and truthful about their age. That has become most important thing to me. I was 17, and thought i was dating an 18 year old. But turns out he was 25, and just idk, it made me feel betrayed and dirty and made me feel like he was preying on me, with him knowing my age before i knew his. That truly made me lose all respect for him. But i dont mind older guys, only if they are up front with me.
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This is why the "half your age plus seven" rule is generally a good idea. Yes, there are couples that are 10-15 years apart, but all of the people I know in that situation met when they were above the legal age of consent. There's a HUGE maturity gap between a 16- and 24-year-old.
Of course there's a difference between a gap in the age of both partners and pedophilia. Anyone who would label a person as a pedophile simply because they're in a consensual relationship with a minor is ignorant, and doesn't realize how dangerous such an accusation can be.