View topic - Cheaters, do you take them back?
| Cheating... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Total Votes : 117 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
I hear a lot of people simplify the situation of a relationship on the rocks because of cheating by saying "Well, then just leave him/her".
I wonder if they follow their own advice.
Yes, I can understand leaving someone on account of infidelity...
But its 'cutting the cord' as simple as it seems?
My question is would you simply end a relationship with your special other due to something like cheating?
Or would you try to work it out?
Do you believe the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater?".
I wonder if they follow their own advice.
Yes, I can understand leaving someone on account of infidelity...
But its 'cutting the cord' as simple as it seems?
My question is would you simply end a relationship with your special other due to something like cheating?
Or would you try to work it out?
Do you believe the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater?".
Quote
Both my husband and I cheated on the other when we were in our 4 year LDR.
We're 6 years, married, and have an almost year old kid.
I think it's utterly stupid to say "leave them".
Now, if it's constant cheating and lying- then there's a reason.
Other then that, it can work.
That silly "Once a cheater, always a cheater" thing is plain stupid.
We're 6 years, married, and have an almost year old kid.
I think it's utterly stupid to say "leave them".
Now, if it's constant cheating and lying- then there's a reason.
Other then that, it can work.
That silly "Once a cheater, always a cheater" thing is plain stupid.
To cheat is to betray the trust your partner put in you. once that trust is broken, it's very difficult to gain that trust back, especially if you add lying to the list of offenses instead of being upfront about how you cheated on them.
When you do cheat and lie like that, it just basically shows how completely untrustworthy you are as an person.
I've never been cheated on or cheated with somebody. The only way I would take back a cheater was if they were actually TRULY sorry about it... but I would still need some time to myself away from him to recover from the emotional aspect of being betrayed like that. And most of all, he would need to prove to me that he was honestly sorry and would NEVER, NEVER, NEVER do it again. He would need to be completely honest about EVERYTHING from that point on, otherwise I would always wonder. in fact... even if he was completely honest with me I'd always wonder. after all, if he betrayed me once before, then he can do it again. It'd have to take a very extremely special person if I could stay at his side after such a huge betrayal like that.
I would completely drop him like a sack of potatoes and find somebody way more trustworthy than that!
When you do cheat and lie like that, it just basically shows how completely untrustworthy you are as an person.
I've never been cheated on or cheated with somebody. The only way I would take back a cheater was if they were actually TRULY sorry about it... but I would still need some time to myself away from him to recover from the emotional aspect of being betrayed like that. And most of all, he would need to prove to me that he was honestly sorry and would NEVER, NEVER, NEVER do it again. He would need to be completely honest about EVERYTHING from that point on, otherwise I would always wonder. in fact... even if he was completely honest with me I'd always wonder. after all, if he betrayed me once before, then he can do it again. It'd have to take a very extremely special person if I could stay at his side after such a huge betrayal like that.
I would completely drop him like a sack of potatoes and find somebody way more trustworthy than that!
I don't really think I could, without just worrying all the time that they'd be cheating on me again. However, I haven't been cheated on, or atleast that I know of.
I mean, as stupid as this sounds, if they were really sincere about it, chances are I would, though..
...Only for them to mostlikely cheat on me again. xD;
I mean, as stupid as this sounds, if they were really sincere about it, chances are I would, though..
...Only for them to mostlikely cheat on me again. xD;
I agree with the "It would have to be an extremely special person" statement from Aurora.
My Husband cheated on me several times, and I left him twice for it.
But, I think the reason we worked out was because we both had the desire to make it work.
Amarah, if you don't mind me asking... Why DID both you and your Husband cheat?
I feel like the reason that my Husband cheated was made up of several little problems.
I think communication was a huge issue.
What brought you back together again, and made you decide to remain faithful from that point on?
My Husband cheated on me several times, and I left him twice for it.
But, I think the reason we worked out was because we both had the desire to make it work.
Amarah, if you don't mind me asking... Why DID both you and your Husband cheat?
I feel like the reason that my Husband cheated was made up of several little problems.
I think communication was a huge issue.
What brought you back together again, and made you decide to remain faithful from that point on?
I've both cheated and been cheated on. I can forgive an infidelity, though it's difficult, it's possible. If I believe fully that the person is sincere in their effort to not repeat the mistake, then that's a starting point.
Lucky for me, though, I'm currently in a negotiable relationship. If either one of us finds someone really special, then it's up for discussion. I really don't have a desire to have anyone else right now, and neither does he, but it's really nice having the pressure off.
Lucky for me, though, I'm currently in a negotiable relationship. If either one of us finds someone really special, then it's up for discussion. I really don't have a desire to have anyone else right now, and neither does he, but it's really nice having the pressure off.
Persephone wrote: I agree with the "It would have to be an extremely special person" statement from Aurora.For it being long distance.
My Husband cheated on me several times, and I left him twice for it.
But, I think the reason we worked out was because we both had the desire to make it work.
Amarah, if you don't mind me asking... Why DID both you and your Husband cheat?
I feel like the reason that my Husband cheated was made up of several little problems.
I think communication was a huge issue.
What brought you back together again, and made you decide to remain faithful from that point on?
We didn't open say "I love you" or get to that point til 2 years after we started dating.
I fell inlove with someone before him, and before we really knew we loved each other.
We both agreed that if we needed to, to go a sexually explore.
He slept with some guy friends of his, and I ended up sleeping with the guy I fell for.
About a year after that, (which was once we knew we both loved each other) we both agreed that it wasn't the same. There was no special emotions to it.
And then once we met in person.. that first time was very special.
xD
I would never stay with a cheater, nor would I ever take him back. I won't settle for being anything less than the only one. Honestly, I don't care how much he says he loves me--it's not enough if he does that to me. If he doesn't love me enough to want no one else and to uphold the trusting bond we share, then he isn't good enough, plain and simple. I'm better off on my own than with a cheater of any kind. There's no way someone who did that to me could ever fully earn back my trust--and without that trust, there's just no relationship.
I would never take back a cheater.
To me cheating implys:
That the other person willingly chose to break the trust between us, risk our entire relationship and possibly give themselves a potiental risk for sexual mistakes.
Even if there is no communication, there is not a reason to cheat. If your so willing to make things work, then I would do it long before the disatisfaction of a stale relationship ever happened. There are always signs that your relationship is going into a slump, and that is when you should take action. If there were no signs and the person cheated out of lust or drunkiness then I would have to place the blame solely on their shoulders. They chose to get drunk and place themselves in a postion that could potentially lead to trouble.
There is no right and wrong concerning cheating. It's just wrong.
To me cheating implys:
That the other person willingly chose to break the trust between us, risk our entire relationship and possibly give themselves a potiental risk for sexual mistakes.
Even if there is no communication, there is not a reason to cheat. If your so willing to make things work, then I would do it long before the disatisfaction of a stale relationship ever happened. There are always signs that your relationship is going into a slump, and that is when you should take action. If there were no signs and the person cheated out of lust or drunkiness then I would have to place the blame solely on their shoulders. They chose to get drunk and place themselves in a postion that could potentially lead to trouble.
There is no right and wrong concerning cheating. It's just wrong.
I hope some people realize that some lovers don't share sexual compatibility.
I dont take cheaters back, even if i love them utterly. I couldnt bare to hurt again. Once they cheat on me they've lost my trust and thats it.
FUCK.
To be honest, this is a hard question to answer. I really want to just say that I'd never trust him again and I'd never take him back, but that's complicated. Having watched my best friend sit around for the last month trying to make her obviously lying and cheating boyfriend happy, I told her so many times to just dump him without even really thinking about it fully.
If I were in the same situation with my boyfriend, I don't think I would be able to dump him. He is literally the ONLY person I fully trust in this world, and it would take a hell of a lot more than a little spat for me to dissolve our relationship. Heck, I would almost be understanding right now. We've been 2000 miles apart for over 2 months now, and it wouldn't surprise me if he'd thought about other women.
I hate to say it, but I'm a weak woman and I would go back to him in a heartbeat. Hell, thinking about when the two of us were dating in high school, it really shows. He dumped me for one of my best friends, and I still loved him just as much as before (though the friend was labeled a lying floozie in my books). And here I am now. I took him back (more like begged for him back, really), and I love him more now than I did before.
So, I guess I'd say yes, I could take someone back after they cheated on me.
If I were in the same situation with my boyfriend, I don't think I would be able to dump him. He is literally the ONLY person I fully trust in this world, and it would take a hell of a lot more than a little spat for me to dissolve our relationship. Heck, I would almost be understanding right now. We've been 2000 miles apart for over 2 months now, and it wouldn't surprise me if he'd thought about other women.
I hate to say it, but I'm a weak woman and I would go back to him in a heartbeat. Hell, thinking about when the two of us were dating in high school, it really shows. He dumped me for one of my best friends, and I still loved him just as much as before (though the friend was labeled a lying floozie in my books). And here I am now. I took him back (more like begged for him back, really), and I love him more now than I did before.
So, I guess I'd say yes, I could take someone back after they cheated on me.
Aonani wrote:Yea.Amarah Couture wrote:I hope some people realize that some lovers don't share sexual compatibility.
[align=centerVery true, but there are always ways to inprove on that, rather then finding someone else.][/align]
I know a couple who has been amrried about 24 years. They have tried everything, but aren't interested with the other sexually, so they go to sex parties.
They said their relationship isn't about sex, so they don't care if their partner is sleepign around. As long as they love each other and come home to the other at night.
I'm honestly amazed some people could do that, but it works for them.