View topic - Cheaters, do you take them back?
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People do change, some do not. It all varies on what exactly happen in my opinion.
Trust takes awhile to rebuild, a long time but, if both are willing the relationship can rework itself. The "once a cheater, always a cheater," isn't true in all cases.
I wouldn't cheat but, I'm just saying that people do change.
Trust takes awhile to rebuild, a long time but, if both are willing the relationship can rework itself. The "once a cheater, always a cheater," isn't true in all cases.
I wouldn't cheat but, I'm just saying that people do change.
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I wouldn't take them back because I'd be afraid they'd just keep doing it and I wouldn't know. I'm the jealous type, and I want the man I love to love me the same way. I don't want him to have another girl in the picture. I understand he might think someone else is cute, but just as long as he isn't planning on leaving me for her or just gets with her while we're still together, I'm alright. No one deserves to be cheated on. Just dump the person if you want someone else, its so much easier then having to explain yourself when they find out.
I would never take a cheater back.
If someone's cheating on me, it means that the person is not satisfied with me alone, and then the person doesn't like me enough to keep it going.
I would never cheat on anyone, and i would never be with someone who's cheating on his current girlfriend/ have cheated before.
If i'm making someone cheat on someone for me, then another person will be able to do the same.
If someone's cheating on me, it means that the person is not satisfied with me alone, and then the person doesn't like me enough to keep it going.
I would never cheat on anyone, and i would never be with someone who's cheating on his current girlfriend/ have cheated before.
If i'm making someone cheat on someone for me, then another person will be able to do the same.
Don't change his hair color again
He'll turn bald before time. •`n´•
While I would never tell somebody to leave someone or not, I could not (and have not been able to) take a cheater back. My relationships rely heavily on trust, which is why I get into them rarely.
It really is a dealbreaker for me, and if someone is not willing to take a relationship with me seriously, they don't need to be in my life. I believe that that needs to be made abundantly clear.
I've also used that to avoid getting into relationships. If they're not going to put my feelings before their physical or emotional urges (which obviously, out of care and devotion, I would strive to satisfy), they shouldn't be in a relationship with me.
It really is a dealbreaker for me, and if someone is not willing to take a relationship with me seriously, they don't need to be in my life. I believe that that needs to be made abundantly clear.
I've also used that to avoid getting into relationships. If they're not going to put my feelings before their physical or emotional urges (which obviously, out of care and devotion, I would strive to satisfy), they shouldn't be in a relationship with me.
I just asked a question like this in life questions
OK I was one of those people that has always said once a cheater always a cheater
BUT recently my views have changed. I have always though if a guy EVER cheats on my I would just dump him and never turn back. You know screw him i deserve better then that. My first serious boyfriend cheated on me that is exactly what I did. Well 3 days after christmas my boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me with his ex girlfriend. Well that is what changed my views on everything. I love my well now ex boyfriend (but we are working things out) to death. I didn't know I could love someone that much and him doing what he did devastated me. I literally didn't want to live anymore. With these last 3 weeks I have done nothing but think about my ex and want him back like crazy. The really crazy thing is I can forgive him for what he did. No don't get me wrong I can forgive him but I can not forget and although I do want to be with him it will never be the same again. Even though it will never be the exact same I feel we can grow from it. I do not believe he will ever do it again. I have seen him since and talked with him and he knows he screwed up and I can see he regrets everything he did horribly and the reason we are not together now is because he know he hurt me and he can't face what he did to me so he literally can't face me. I have talked to him though and we have agreed to work things out but we need a bit of space first. If I could though I would take him back in a heart beat. I love him.
Everything depends on the person. The once a cheater always a cheater is not true for everyone. People make mistakes but you learn and grow from mistakes if you are a smart decent person.
OK I was one of those people that has always said once a cheater always a cheater
MaskedDream wrote:I could not take someone back after they cheated on me. To me the worst thing you could ever do is rape someone or cheat on them. Mostly I feel if you cheat on someone you have lost interest in them and that hurts. I have been cheated on and that is exactly how I felt. It totally kills your trust in someone so you are always doubting in the back of your mind and are paranoid after that. From all the cases I have seen I would say once a cheater always a cheater. I am sorry(I posted this in this thread on december 4th of 09')
BUT recently my views have changed. I have always though if a guy EVER cheats on my I would just dump him and never turn back. You know screw him i deserve better then that. My first serious boyfriend cheated on me that is exactly what I did. Well 3 days after christmas my boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me with his ex girlfriend. Well that is what changed my views on everything. I love my well now ex boyfriend (but we are working things out) to death. I didn't know I could love someone that much and him doing what he did devastated me. I literally didn't want to live anymore. With these last 3 weeks I have done nothing but think about my ex and want him back like crazy. The really crazy thing is I can forgive him for what he did. No don't get me wrong I can forgive him but I can not forget and although I do want to be with him it will never be the same again. Even though it will never be the exact same I feel we can grow from it. I do not believe he will ever do it again. I have seen him since and talked with him and he knows he screwed up and I can see he regrets everything he did horribly and the reason we are not together now is because he know he hurt me and he can't face what he did to me so he literally can't face me. I have talked to him though and we have agreed to work things out but we need a bit of space first. If I could though I would take him back in a heart beat. I love him.
Everything depends on the person. The once a cheater always a cheater is not true for everyone. People make mistakes but you learn and grow from mistakes if you are a smart decent person.
I don't go for "once a cheater always a cheater". Sometimes it's a stupid, one time mistake.
That said, I don't stick around to find out. I've been cheated on and I dropped them. Maybe not right away but everything just fizzled after I found out. The first was one who cheated often and with a few different people so I know it wasn't a lapse in judgement. Obviously our relationship meant very little to him so I left.
That said, I don't stick around to find out. I've been cheated on and I dropped them. Maybe not right away but everything just fizzled after I found out. The first was one who cheated often and with a few different people so I know it wasn't a lapse in judgement. Obviously our relationship meant very little to him so I left.
I've been cheated on before. I stayed with them. They cheated again. I still stayed.
I am the doormat.
HOWEVER- one relationship does not define EVERY relationship.
People are different- as much as I'd like to say once a cheater always a cheater, I don't know that this would be my mindset if put in the situation again.
It's case by case- and of course there will always be a trust issue and the chance that you are in the wrong. But it's for each person to decide individually whether the relationship is worth working past this or not.
I am the doormat.
HOWEVER- one relationship does not define EVERY relationship.
People are different- as much as I'd like to say once a cheater always a cheater, I don't know that this would be my mindset if put in the situation again.
It's case by case- and of course there will always be a trust issue and the chance that you are in the wrong. But it's for each person to decide individually whether the relationship is worth working past this or not.
I don't think there is a reason why one should cheat on their loved one. If they cheat on you, and lie to you about it then yes dump them. I've been cheated on before so I don't put it nicely..so I'd dump them. But that is me,some others have a different view then me which is fine by me.
You colour my world.
I wouldn't be able to take back a cheater. I would be violent & stressed by the fact of thinking about how they cheated.. since I hold grudges.
If my mind changes, and I take them back, then fine. I've always have a soft spot. But if they cheat again they best be scared, because I'll come an fawk them over big time. (Ha, though that's just tough talk). I would probably leave a cheater on the curb and walk away.
I've had an ex that cheated on me before, so I walked away. But I thought of him as a friend more than anything anyway.. so it didn't really bother me that he cheated because I never actually felt in love to begin with. (Harsh, I know). He came to my house to ask for me again, but I said no. (Was in a LDR by this time, plus I didn't really like guys.. Pfft, faithfulish here..)
But he directly told me that the man in the car that drove him to my house, who was in my driveway, was going to be his "future bf." My ex & I were 15 (ha), & he messed around with many people.. and now wanted a man 22+, and me. It kind of scared me.. Obviously rejected. Plus I don't want to be the second choice either.
But I know a majority of what my cheating ex was going through.. and he looked very depressed, and had some issues. I'd do anything to be best friends with him still though, and to help him out.
If my mind changes, and I take them back, then fine. I've always have a soft spot. But if they cheat again they best be scared, because I'll come an fawk them over big time. (Ha, though that's just tough talk). I would probably leave a cheater on the curb and walk away.
I've had an ex that cheated on me before, so I walked away. But I thought of him as a friend more than anything anyway.. so it didn't really bother me that he cheated because I never actually felt in love to begin with. (Harsh, I know). He came to my house to ask for me again, but I said no. (Was in a LDR by this time, plus I didn't really like guys.. Pfft, faithfulish here..)
But he directly told me that the man in the car that drove him to my house, who was in my driveway, was going to be his "future bf." My ex & I were 15 (ha), & he messed around with many people.. and now wanted a man 22+, and me. It kind of scared me.. Obviously rejected. Plus I don't want to be the second choice either.
But I know a majority of what my cheating ex was going through.. and he looked very depressed, and had some issues. I'd do anything to be best friends with him still though, and to help him out.
Hmm here's a scenario for everyone if they want to take a hand at it.
What if you have a couple that consists of one person that's bisexual and one person that's heterosexual. (They're a hetero couple.) If the bi person sleeps with someone of their own gender, not the gender of their partner, is that cheating?
I've seen that particular answer go either way depending on who you ask.
What if you have a couple that consists of one person that's bisexual and one person that's heterosexual. (They're a hetero couple.) If the bi person sleeps with someone of their own gender, not the gender of their partner, is that cheating?
I've seen that particular answer go either way depending on who you ask.
Words exist because of meaning. Once you've gotten the meaning, you can forget the words. Where can I find a man who has forgotten words so I can talk with him? ~Chuang Tzu
lateralus es helica wrote:Hmm here's a scenario for everyone if they want to take a hand at it.
What if you have a couple that consists of one person that's bisexual and one person that's heterosexual. (They're a hetero couple.) If the bi person sleeps with someone of their own gender, not the gender of their partner, is that cheating?
I've seen that particular answer go either way depending on who you ask.
It's unacceptable. It's cheating no matter what sexuality a person has and who they're with.
lurking through getting event items, i saw a lot of comments along the lines of "once a cheater, always a cheater."
as a cheater, i have to defend this. it is not always true.
i have cheated on every guy i've been with except justin, who i am currently in a serious relationship with. 3 years! ;)
anyway, the first year, i will admit i was tempted, but i was strong and didn't falter, even tho i was under the influence.
so cheaters can change.
i also believe that, were one of us to cheat on the other (highly unlikely), we would be able to get through it. there would be a lot of pain, and it would take a long time, but we would make it. we would work through that problem, just as we have every other that we've encountered, because we love each other deeply and we would make it work.
as a cheater, i have to defend this. it is not always true.
i have cheated on every guy i've been with except justin, who i am currently in a serious relationship with. 3 years! ;)
anyway, the first year, i will admit i was tempted, but i was strong and didn't falter, even tho i was under the influence.
so cheaters can change.
i also believe that, were one of us to cheat on the other (highly unlikely), we would be able to get through it. there would be a lot of pain, and it would take a long time, but we would make it. we would work through that problem, just as we have every other that we've encountered, because we love each other deeply and we would make it work.
IshokuOsero wrote:lateralus es helica wrote:Hmm here's a scenario for everyone if they want to take a hand at it.
What if you have a couple that consists of one person that's bisexual and one person that's heterosexual. (They're a hetero couple.) If the bi person sleeps with someone of their own gender, not the gender of their partner, is that cheating?
I've seen that particular answer go either way depending on who you ask.
It's unacceptable. It's cheating no matter what sexuality a person has and who they're with.
Agreed. I'm in that type of relationship myself. Though of course it's not cheating if there is no permission granted but that's a different thing altogether. The issue of trust still gets breached.
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