Ernya.com

i hate you, fuck you, leave me alone
i hate you, fuck you, leave me alone
i hate you, fuck you, leave me alone

i wish that i could
say it and mean it

i wish i could
e r a s e
your kiss from
my lips
your voice from
my memory
your smile from
my heart

what you took from me
was
i r / r e p l a c a b le / --

i am e m p t y [[inside]]
without a soul.
i needed you to fight
for me -- and
you walked away

i wish that i could
e r a s e you -- fuck you
[one.last.time]

i hate you.

Well, I would certainly hope that it
felt real, seeing as how it IS... :'D
But I'm glad you enjoyed it. ^^; It's
nice to know that people get something
out of this random crap I put up here.

This was very dramatic, but raw emotion is only one component of a good poem. It's easy to write 'I hate you', but harder [and ultimately more rewarding to both parties] to show the reader why you hate the subject instead of just telling them.

Bold words and bold formatting do not an effective poem make. You get your point across, but it is less effective because it reads like a teenage tantrum. What you're feeling isn't juvenile, so why not express yourself accordingly?

To be fair, I did like the turn around at the end there: [one last time]. That added another dimension to your thoughts. Good luck with your writing!

Auricle; to be completely honest, it felt
a lot like a teenage tantrum. Sometimes I
don't feel right just staring at words; it
feels like there needs to be something else,
something more, and I don't know how
to get that feeling across otherwise. :\

I do understand what you're saying, though,
and it's very much appreciated. I will most
definitely think about that in the future.