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I think arranged marriages are ok. They are not good or bad. They do work though. I don't like how American think it bad most of the time. It really not as bad as people think.

My parent married out of duty and culture (basically a weird form of arrange marriage) and they are still together and consent. They are not happy, happy but they are also not depress and fighting all the time. They barley argue and when they do, they forget it in few hour. I am never worried they will divorce because they are consent. They both are getting what they want from a marriage. My dad get a wife who respect him and take care of his need while he provide for her. They have never been in love and still aren't yet their life is great.

So I don't think arranged marriages as bad as people make it seem or as great as people claim. Their so many false thing people say about it all the time.
Like their beating in arranged marriages or that they are so happy in arranged marriages. Both of which are usually false.

I'm pretty fine with them granted the people who do the arranging do have good intentions and decent judgement.

I think a lot of people are marrying during the infatuation stage and not really thinking their life through together. There is also a lot of pressure to both marry and not marry at the same time, or take on the pressures of both, not exclusive to a sex/gender (get a good job, take care of kids, or females choosing to become a housewife tends to get looked down on in some places, while in others looking for a job has that effect).

Arranged marriages involve a mutually beneficial agreement between parties, but I think at least respect and some form of liking each other such as even just friendship is needed too to make it work and result in some contentment.

I chose my husband not because I was in love with him. We loved each other as friends but also saw the mutual benefits of us together. Eventually we fell madly in love and don't have to worry as much about the things we discover about the other person later on which usually breaks down relationships in the long run.

There's always a good and bad to it. Love might blossom in an arranged marriage just as it can die in one born out of love. We can just hope for the best.

so about the part about marriage. keep in mind that many of these arranged marriages take place in countries where divorce isn't even legal or if it is its so frowned upon that many would rather die then get a divorce.

you can't compare the us to other countries on matters like this. the culture plays too big of a part in how people act in these situations.

Kasper wrote:so about the part about marriage. keep in mind that many of these arranged marriages take place in countries where divorce isn't even legal or if it is its so frowned upon that many would rather die then get a divorce.

you can't compare the us to other countries on matters like this. the culture plays too big of a part in how people act in these situations.

Also I must state this true as well. Coming from a culture and country that have arrange marriage divorce are usually low because it frown upon.It is impossible to compare to US.

Well I can compare in a way. Since my people leave my country to America divorce have gone up. This can be possible for 2 reason:

A) They are less frown upon in America and they get a choice
b) Cheating and infidelity are more common in America that it influences their choices.

I personally think it a mix of both. So if you really want to compare you can kinda compare using this information. It will give you a better comparison if you look at it that way.

@lateralus es helica: there are many form of arrange marriage from the good kind to the bad kind. Good kind: You date around and find someone your parent approve of and get married. Kinda good: Lucky god give you mercy and you like the mate choose for you. Ok: You are introduce to your future mate and force to marry by pressure or force. Bad: You are force to marry someone you never met. Really bad case: If you live in country where men can have multiple wife (like where I am from) you are taken as the 2nd wife and so one. The other wife usually
get jealous and "hurt" you in some way.

There are also many other but I don't really want to list them all. I have seen most of these from my people.

@Thalassaemia:

Sadly sometime that the not case. People do abuse arrange marriage. Like rich old guy 50+ in age would marry little 14 year old. The parent are usually force or paid really well and go along with it. Most aren't like this though.

Though it not as bad as people imagine. Most of time they just go on their life like a normal marriage.

@lateralus es helica:

Yea, I just read a few article on India arrange marriage and it rather nice. A lot better than in my country. No 2nd wife issue, no old man issue, and so on. Seem they even to get to meet most of the candidate and get a few choices which is not so common in arrange marriage.

Poker: If I may ask what country are you from? The whole plural marriage thing is rather uncommon in most countries from what I undersand.

I don't think they do it anymore...haven't visit my country in years.

Well I am from Thailand but a hill tribe (totally different from Thai people) but my people tend to be in many country like Laos, Vietnam, and part of China. I am Hmong and most of them live in Laos or Thailand. Every time I say Thailand people assume a nice country but hill tribe life is so not any where close to what you see in Thailand. No electricity, indoor pluming, and all that good stuff. It like the old, old days and it still pretty much the same with less arrange marriages these day. Though I am sure plural marriage still exists since it still old school. We are usually only allow 3 women per man and beyond that is uncommon. Though our leader did have 7....

I'm Thai and I find the Thai culture on love and marriage hilarious.
The men are cool with their wives in prostitution, the reputation of women marrying for money isn't unfounded, and then there are those who choose the simple life. Then you got others on the other side of the scale who are just insane when it comes to infatuation. Polygamy is illegal in Thailand since at least around the World War though but a few still do it outside the system. But at least the practice of having little wives in Thailand and China and a couple other places is better than cheating. And the consequences of cheating in these nations are terrifying. I've met a disturbingly insane number of acid victims.

I think other than the whole hugely discourage aspect of divorce in Islamic countries, every single marriage basically requires a pre-nuptial agreement, usually in favour of the wife. xD

I wouldn't go through with an arranged marriage personally, but there are some people where this is normal and they actually end up falling for their partner in the long run anyways. So it's not all that bad.

I wonder if the reason the divorce rate is only 4% for arranged marriages is because divorce tends to be considered more taboo/unacceptable in cultures where arranged marriages are common.

I'd rather take my chances with the high-ass divorce rate in the U.S. for a shot at loving someone I chose, though I'm sure you can certainly grow to love your spouse in an arranged marriage. To each their own.