Ernya.com

This is a long post... but I have a lot I need to say.

I've had anxiety for as long as I can remember.
Recently, I've been a bit happier because for the past year or so I thought I'd been making progress with dealing with my anxiety. One of the embarrassing symptoms has nearly completely disappeared and I'm so excited to be able to do things as simple as going to the cinema without having to worry about it.
But now the emotional side of it is just hammering at me even more than I thought possible. I got my licence not too long ago (not to mention nearly crying when it was over for no particular reason) and tomorrow I have to go out to do something. It's not the first time I've driven by myself in the last few weeks, so it's mainly the meeting that's killing me inside. It will only be a half hour at most... but I'm dreading walking into the door and having everyone look at me (as they did last time. You know how someone walks through a door and everyone turns and stares for a few seconds? That's what I mean). I'm scared to sit there and wait, because I get so nervous. I'm scared that when I talk to the person I'm meeting I'll have no idea what to say, because I honestly don't. Mum's been making me do things myself, and I do want to and I try, but I can't.

Numerous times over the years I've had moments where I was overly depressed and half cried, half talked it out with my mum (usually it's because I'm in such a crummy/bitchy mood that she has to tell me to stop acting like a child and tell her why I've been like that). She gets me motivated and feeling good again, but soon it wares off and we both just forget about it.
I don't think she really understands just how much this has and is still doing to me negatively.
I quit school, stopped contact with my friends, refused to study TAFE in person and instead did it as distance study, and have so far only had jobs that I got in places where my family members worked. Right now I'm looking for a new one and the idea of actually meeting new people on my own... well, you can imagine.

I'm scared of every little thing and I just want these feelings to go away. I've so far only tried those natural medicines, which were a complete failure.
I'm 18 already and I still feel like a 5 year old who needs to hold someone's hand wherever they go.

Do you have any advice?
...Should I try and get my mum to understand, one more time? I don't think she will get it though. All three of my family members have let me down so many times that I feel talking to any one of them is a waste of time, as it has been in the past.
I just want her help so much.

I haven't got or had over anxiety to the lengths that it had been a daily or even monthly problem. Never the less, I know what it feels like and some simple tricks that often help me. You might have tried them but I want to try and share still.

First of all comes the question about your mother, though. My parents listen to me and support me if I want to tell them things and need their thoughts over things. How ever, the things that sometimes get me worried must sound very over exaggerated to their ears sometimes. They mean good but it's hard to always understand how difficult and scary something can be especially if it's something they do on daily basis.
My best guess is that you and your mom should sit down with time to talk. You could tell her that you want help to work on the anxiety and maybe you could describe her what it is like when it's triggered.

When I get to anxied mood sometimes when I'm tired or a lot of new things are coming up, I have some ways to bring it down a bit to get things done.
First of all, I write down on paper what I'm worried about and after a while look at the paper again and write in solutions and good possible outcomes of the thing.
If I have to meet new people, I make sure that I don't have too much time to worry or fuss before leaving to where ever I meet them. For example I go to the shower on last minutes so I have to rush dressing up and straight away hop onto the car to drive instead of waiting all clothes on and walking in circles.
I also imagine beforehand how it could go on the best case. If I get stuck thinking about how badly it goes I pay attention to details in my imagination. Then when I am in the actual situation and can't find my imagined details, I can think that it can only go better than the worst case scenario I had. :)

I hope that things get solved and you won't be left alone with your over anxiety. If you ever want to talk or something, I'm here for your use - yes, I know I haven't talked with you earlier but Ernyan's help each other, right? :)

Thanks Gess Jahd.
Not too long after posting this I made myself go over and speak to her. She told me that she pretty much had and still has anxiety a lot of the time. Which surprised me because she definitely never shows it.
Anyways, we talked things over and I'm going to keep working on it. My anxiety actually nearly completely disappeared today. After confiding in her it was as if all those feelings just went away.

I'll probably try out the tricks you mentioned the next time I feel overly anxious. Thanks a lot for your advice.

I don't know if this tip would be able to help, but eating bananas could lessen stress and anxiety... My sister was always anxious so she would always be 'prepared' whenever she goes outside somewhere. :P

Sorry I'm not much help. :(

I've had anxiety for as long as I can remember, and was diagnosed with it almost a year ago. It's not as severe as yours based on the description in your post but I will try to give you the best advice and I give. :)

First off I think you really should get on some kind of medication. Some people are very against that, I was too, but I can tell you being on them has helped a lot. It lets you go out without having that worried, or in my case claustrophobic, feeling and lets you learn how to be out and about without worrying so that once you are off them you can deal with it better.
Speaking of dealing with it, it really helps you look inside and find out what is making you feel this way without bringing those horrible feels to the surface along with it.

Gess Jahd said they save everything they have to do till the last minute before going out so they don't have time to think about what might happen while they are out. If that works for you then I'm happy but I'd rather turn that around. I love going out, if I'm around large groups of people I still have anxious feelings but, I enjoy it because I don't get to go out as often as I'd like. If you are like me and you like pampering yourself turn your shower/getting ready time into something you enjoy. Put on some music you can move or sing to, do yourself up, make yourself look good. If you like to do that as much as I do then it will make you feel incredible happy. I turn a simple going out for a bite to eat into a nice outing by doing myself up. It makes me happy and shoots my confidence and self-esteem through the roof.

Also, I can't stress this enough, please,please, stop worrying about what other people might think/do when you are around or walk into a room. That doesn't help at all. It doesn't hurt them, it hurts you. Tell yourself there is nothing for them to stare at, or turn it into an inside joke. When me and my best friend go out and someone stares at me I also turn around, bring it to her attention, and say "We're so good looking, we're grabbing everyone's attention!" Turn something that usually sets off your anxiety into something you can laugh at, then it won't affect you half as bad as if you pushed it to the back of your head and let it sit there and eat away.

Anxiety is like a little evil person who sits on your shoulder and says all kinds of crap in your ear. So when she bitches at you, bitch back!

I hope that helped you some. I'm terrible at give advice but I like to talk to anyone who has a problem because 80% of figuring out a problem is talking it out. If you ever need someone to talk to, I am right here for you. :)